Envy? Jealousy? Resentment?

[Friday]

There's a really great quote:

"Never judge your insides, by someone else's outsides."

 

[Friday]

Oooooh & another one... Was just going to quote the bolded portions, but decided to throw the whole poem up here. It was something my grandparents kept on their living room wall.


Desiderata

• 
  Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
  and remember what peace there may be in silence.
  As far as possible without surrender
  be on good terms with all persons.
  Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
  and listen to others,
  even the dull and the ignorant;
  they too have their story.
  Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
  they are vexations to the spirit.
  If you compare yourself with others,
  you may become vain and bitter;
  for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
  Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
  
  Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
  it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
  Exercise caution in your business affairs;
  for the world is full of trickery.
  But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
  many persons strive for high ideals;
  and everywhere life is full of heroism.
  
  Be yourself.
  Especially, do not feign affection.
  Neither be cynical about love;
  for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
  it is as perennial as the grass.
  
  Take kindly the counsel of the years,
  gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
  Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
  But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
  Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
  Beyond a wholesome discipline,
  be gentle with yourself.
  
  You are a child of the universe,
  no less than the trees and the stars;
  you have a right to be here.
  And whether or not it is clear to you,
  no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
  
  Therefore be at peace with God,
  whatever you conceive Him to be,
  and whatever your labors and aspirations,
  in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
  
  With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
  it is still a beautiful world.
  Be cheerful.
  Strive to be happy.
  
  Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.
  
  
  

 

[theotherside]

Ive heard that before..but only if i can make my outsides look like theirs...at least fake it till i make it..im just not there yet..just feel so different and defective..
I guess i just have lots of work to do...

 

[theotherside]

My reply was to the first comment fridayjones..thanks so much for the second one. I find myself comparing a lot and falling short daily. Its something i learned from childhood, mom would say why cant you be like so and so..and so i think i just got into the habbit..i think i also learned by watching her compare herself also..i would love to break the cycle..

 

[theotherside]

That is real beautiful and i should hang that up in my home as well..thank you

Im so glad you included the whole thing :)

 

[Kintsugi]

Ditto. Thank you @FridayJones. Really enjoyed that. You never know when a poem will come along and bring light to your day. :)

 

[sun seeker]

Shiny happy people

Are you a Grey's Anatomy fan by any chance? :-)

Seriously though, I understand what you are saying. Longing? Inadequacy? Over the years there have been a few families I've been close to who at least from the outside fit this description, and I have frequent dreams about them. In the dreams, there is always something that is not so perfect. Whether it's my unconscious trying to tell me no one is actually as perfect as they seem, or trying to work through my own feelings, I'm not sure. Often there is water I have to cross to get to them in the dreams.

I think though, when I am clearer on who I am and what is important to me (I have big identity problems) it will be easier to let go of this image of perfection. I don't know if that fits for you at all.

 

[theotherside]

No im not really a fan of GA, but i haved watched it and i enjoyed it. Its just not a show i keep up with...i was thinking R.E.M i think..isnt that a song of theirs? Im not sure..hopefully not mixed up with b52s...oh well, i like them both..but yeah i dont really understand why i feel how i do..just something that became habbit and need to stop..

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I have felt jealous from the people I have known that have had more ideal family situations thus making healthier choices. But I have discovered that even these people have blinders on and when bad things do happen to them they become more like me. I think bad cards get dealt out to everyone.

When my husband died almost two years ago, I found myself so jealous of all of the married couples I would see. I am doing much better now that I have had tome to heal.

I think what you are feeling is normal for what you are going through. Hugs.

 

[theotherside]

Thank you

And im sorry for your loss

 

[sun seeker]

How about wistfulness?

 

[theotherside]

That sounds good too.
But there is an anger or unfairness that happens along with it too. Thats why i thought jealous. I don't know how to fix it yet, but i know its not right. And i dont want it..