Ever Wonder If You're Faking It? What/how Do You Decide?

[EveHarrington]

I don't think it's possible to fake those reactions.

I didn't know I had been abused. My first "consensual" sex was when I was around age 18. To say I freaked out is the biggest understatement I could ever make. Yes, sex can be scary but there was no reason for such an over the top reaction------unless I had been abused.

I'll stop here.

 

[Friday]

I'm sure I'm faking my symptoms. I'm sure I'm just acting like I was abused to get sympathy from others.

Seems like the easy way around all of that, then, is don't go for sympathy?

It's not useful in dealing with PTSD, anyway, so win/win! :)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

If there was something there, there would be at least some memory, wouldn't there?

Nope, not necessarly and its common that memories are supressed so much that we no longer have them and very fragmented memories are also common.

Just speaking from my own experience, not reading any resplies; I had 10 yrs of denial plus memories that were already gone. Age 7 is where all memories stopped and during my denial time, I had pushed down what i could and told myself that the remainder wasnt true. By the time i got to my current theralist, my memories were so fragmented that i could barely remember even the most recent stuff, it was all fragmented, and a lot of memories werent there. Just because you dont remember it doesnt meant it didnt happen!

The way i got that memory back, first i had to stop invaildating myself this way and then we worked with what i could remember, told.my therapist every detail and we talked about it a lot. The more we talked about it, the more i remembered, the more flashbacks i had (more credable), and the more dreams i had (less credable) and now i can tell you what the air smelled like, what was on tv, if it was raining etc. It went from fragmented memories and no memories to very crisp memories. It still gets muddy at ages 6 and 7 but i can remember more, futher, than i could to begin with.

So just because you can remember, something common, doesnt mean it didnt happen. Your body always remember! :hug:

 

[sun seeker]

It's not useful in dealing with PTSD, anyway, so win/win!

Sympathy may not be. Empathy, on the other hand, goes a long way, especially with childhood trauma where the survivor has learned to blame themselves and minimize their experience.

I'd look at it this way: If you hadn't been so traumatized, would you be needing empathy so much? This is a lot like the question that often comes up where people wonder if they are "faking it for attention." My answer to that one would be "aren't there easier ways to get attention, if that's what you are after?" Someone who didn't have the trauma wouldn't think to fake it. They'd have other things on their minds.

I have yet to hear of anyone who worries about whether they are faking it for attention/sympathy/empathy/because the moon is made of green cheese... who ends up discovering that they are indeed faking it.

 

[Whyteferret]

Sorry in advance about the craziness. Today is one of those days. I'm sure I'm faking my sympto...

No. It's common for people to forget part or all of the trauma. Esepcially if they were young when it happened.

If your gut says it happened and you have physical triggers, believe yourself.

 

[Changing4Best]

I read the "YOU KNOW YOU HAVE PTSD WHEN..." thread in SOCIAL on this Forum and so many of the things in that thread that folks described in their lives mirrored my life that I've had no doubt ever since.

 

[Jinxy]

I feel like I always fake it, but what are the options...and , one day, you ll just wake up and the feeling will feel natural, because you ve done it for so long, making it a habit....yay!

 

[katz]

I used to doubt myself--a lot. It took me years to just convince myself. I actually went and found concrete proof of each "demon". I still have doubts and need to remind myself with these "bits of truth". Over and over. I have my journal to go back to, it's amazing how well I can forget-again and again, the same things.

With no one in the family to believe me, it can get very lonely. It is tempting to try and just forget it ever happened--but I can't seem too. Not anymore. I'm still struggling with what to do with the knowledge and proof that they all took place. Is the proof supposed to help me? Can it?

 

[ladee]

@katz, yes, it helps. I shared with someone yesterday that I have very few recovered memories. So it makes me, or used to make me feel even crazier. Surely I was just making stuff up to get attention, even if it was negative attention...
It helps to be more sure of what you are dealing with...where I had body memories, that could have meant anything. But I did have a fantastic T that helped me unravel so much of my trauma. So hope you get to make progress on this very difficult journey. It is normal for us to question our selves... sending gentle hugs if you accept.

 

[katz]

I know that I have probably said this before, but, all I want to do is to mourn. I want to cry and feel. I wish that I could remember just enough to move forward. I know that I have body memories. I had one once. Should there be one for each terror or incident? Or at least for each clear memory that I do have?

 

[katz]

@katz, yes, it helps. I shared with someone yesterday that I have very few recovered m...

Thank you, Ladee
I appreciate your support.

 

[ladee]

@katz, each one of us is unique and different in how the trauma presents itself... Just have some faith in yourself and hopefully trust in your T and you will do fine.. You won't feel fine, but you will be making progress, whether it feels like it or not. I know it's hard going into this feeling blind... not knowing what to expect... please tell this to your T... it will make a difference in how they proceed... and ask all the questions you have, when you start... write them down... there will be no stupid questions , you have a right to know what to expect...
Believe it not, asking for help is half way there... Keep reminding yourself that you don't have to know all the answers and you are just now starting to ask the questions... this is hard work, and I am very glad you are here.. You are not alone on this journey... we are all on the same journey, but it is as individual as our fingerprints... you will do great... just keep pushing thru the fear of it all and you will find that your T will help you manage things...
Come here as often as you need to.... we care and hope you get your answers soon.