Face It, Sweetie! You've Been Dumped

[red shoes]

Very true, Macpayne and Dust, I'm beginning to wonder if that's what has happened here. But it's been nearly impossible for me to stay objective through what was a VERY rough week for me.

In addition to the news involving my youngest son, my daughter made a decision which will add a considerable amount of stress to our family for the next 3-4 months. Throw in a couple of really negative social situations and by Friday I had a full-blown panic attack for the first time in probably a decade. ***BIG SIGH***

So with the sudden cessation of communication from this "friend", other than just very cold "hi and good-bye" stuff, I've been feeling very alone and vulnerable. I'm not sure how I would have kept my sanity this week without the support and understanding I've found on this forum. Actually, maybe I didn't keep my sanity!!! :wink:

 

[greenie]

I have only opened up to one person in my life about what happened to me and PTSD. I only ever really had one true close friend. That friend became my lover. Eyes do not lie...I was loved. Then out of nowhere I was dumped as both a lover and a best friend. It was like I never mattered, like I was invisible, like I was never loved, like I never even existed. The anniversary of the trauma just came up and there was no initiatiative from my ex for anything. I can relate to your words red shoes and fin. I just want my friendship, trust, and love to matter. I try so hard and always fail. Maybe I should have never opened up about what happened to me and looked for support. Maybe I would at least feel wanted.

 

[TLight]

Greenie;
I'm so sorry for the hurt you've had to endure.

I can relate completely. You are not alone.

 

[red shoes]

Hello Greenie,
I sorry, too, about what you've gone through. I am really hoping for a different kind of experience here on this forum for both of us...for all of us, really. That seems to be the point of this website :)

I read on another post/thread (which I can't seem to find now) about a guy whose therapist told him, "When your girlfriend walks out on you, shut the door!" LOL!! And another person responded that when a person walks out on a relationship, many times it reveals more about the kind of person who is leaving than it does about the one who was left behind.

So I'm trying to incorporate those thoughts into my experience now...

May this be a safe haven for you, Greenie :Hug_emoticon:

 

[supergirl]

I have not really shared my PTSD with most of my friends. It's too much for me to talk about. The friends that do know are supportive but it can be hard for them sometimes because they have PTSD too and we can trigger each other. You never know what another person is going through that they may be keeping to themselves. I have VERY close friends that I have not told only because it is too painful for me to talk about not because I do not trust them. Who knows, this could have been the case with some of the people in your life. They had their own secrets and therefore could not be the friend you needed. People come in and out of our lives sometimes for no other reason than to show us the types of people we need to avoid in the future. Did these friends have any particular traits in commom? I know that when I came out to my friends about my BiPolar diagnosis and my drug additction I lost a lot quickly and they were all the same type of person. What that experience taught me was how to avoid falling into friendships with those types in the future. Try to find the common thread. Hope that makes sense.....

 

[red shoes]

Thanks for the perspective, Supergirl. :think: I am trying to figure out the common thread here and make sense of all this...I'm learning that not everyone wants or needs to know about my PTSD, and that this is completely OK.

I think it is helping to have this forum to talk about things and process emotions, and learn from others who are going through the same kinds of things. And maybe then I can learn who to trust and when, or at least make better choices on when to take the chance...

red shoes

 

[Seeking_Nirvana]

Hello supergirl and redshoes,

Be careful on this forum because people can find you. I'm talking about the ones that betrayed you, and they will read your post to use against you. Yea - It happens! Is happening!

The good thing is when they read your posts you know that you have nothing left to hide LOL. I never did understand why people stalk, it must be some character flaw or mental illness. I'm inclined to lean toward mental illness because of the nature of how OCBD tends to lead into other areas like "not being able to let go".

***Trust is "earned" and is not to be given freely IMO. I've given mine freely and have had good and bad luck, but I don't think luck is part of the game. It's all about trusting your gut instincts, which I'm very good at now.

Common behavior patterns in people can be very deceiving as to who the person "really" is at the soul level.

***Trust takes many years to build and only a second to destroy. Even good people destroy other people's trust on a daily basis, because we can't be everything to everybody. There is good and bad in everyone!

Just when you "think" you have it all figured out some sociopath will come along and blind side you. Be careful of wolves in sheep's clothing, and the writing is all the same. Ask yourself who is on the other end of the computer screen giving you advise?

You two be careful now.
Tammy

 

[greenie]

TLight and redshoes,
I appreciate the encouragement and kind words. It is encouraging to know that I am not alone and can come to this forum and meet such supporting people like yourselves. This forum is helping me find peace. I hope you all are finding help with your pain as well. Thank you all!
Greenie

 

[Lionheart]

True friends don't run off at the first hurdle if they do then they were not friends in the first place.

I think this may be true of love as well; I heard it said that there is no such word as Loved, love has no past tense. If you stop loving someone you never loved them in the first place.

I believe there is some truth to this,
just something to think about.....

Be your own best friend and always love yourself!!!

~Lewie~