Death Facing fear of death

[Lionheart]

I've recently seen a pulmonary care specialist who told me "Just be sure to wear your C-Pap each night" and that I should be fine where sleep apnea is concerned.

As for COPD, I am in stage 3 and have set a quit date to stop smoking of November 1st. I recently had a CT scan for lung cancer and should get the results in a couple days.

My fear of dying in my sleep from sleep apnea has given way to travel anxiety in which I am afraid of being involved in a traffic accident, but I am doing what I can to deal with the anxiety (support team, therapy tools, medication, prayer etc.). and to face my fear of death / dying.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Lionheart777 please please quit. Just do it. No gearing up, just do it. You know that COPD is progressive. You know that smoking just makes it worse, Hell its the cause in your case, and mine. You CAN do this. You really can!!!!

 

[scout86]

I'm seconding what @She Cat said. The sooner you quit, the sooner your lungs can start healing.

 

[Lionheart]

Thank you for the encouragement. However, I am not inclined to go cold turkey after 40 years of smoking, I've tried that and have failed.

I've set a quit date for just 10-11 days from now. I will use medication and nicotine replacement as well as my support team (doctor, therapist, psychiatrist, etc.) and I will also have a quit partner. Although I know this won't be easy, I am highly motivated and expect to succeed.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

@Lionheart777 :inlove:
I have GREAT FAITH IN YOUR STRENGTH and COURAGE!!! You have survived SO MUCH in your lifetime, and I am SURE that you can do ANYTHING that you REALLY Want and need to do! You have your own CHEERLEADING team right here!:hug::singing::hug:

Please, PLEASE wear your CPAP EVERY NIGHT??!!?? I do, because I have a fear of dying in my sleep too! I not only breathe too shallowly, and snore, I STOP BREATHING and maybe you do too? Having low oxygen while sleeping contributes to heart disease also. I am REALLY hoping to have you as my friend for MANY years to come!!!

PLEASE feel free to iM me, ANYTIME you need a pep talk or someone's voice to distract you... I am pretty good at that and I will gladly do it for YOU!

Keep on keepin'on, Dear Friend of Mine!!!
Love, Hugs, and prayers...
AKJ:hug:

 

[Lionheart]

Thank You @AngelkeeperJ/AKJ !!!!

I forgot to mention that I also have the support of the good people here when I quit smoking and I think that I am lucky to have such great friends!!!:cool:

I do wear my C-Pap each time I lie down, even if I am only a little sleepy because I don't want to accidently fall asleep without it. I stop breathing every night, but the incidents of this are greatly reduced by wearing the C-Pap and the air flow keeps me breathing more regularly. I have low oxygen at night as well, but I'm on nighttime oxygen therapy to combat the problems associated with that. :tup:

Yes. I hope to be here for many years to come as well and I know that you and I will remain close friends, for no one could wish for a greater friend / support person in their life!!! :inlove:

You are a Godsend and a Great Blessing to me,
:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:'s
Big warm bear hugs,
Lion

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Lionheart777 You can do this... we will all support you. I know how tough this can be. I quit cold turkey (with 30 Ativan) I was a smoker for 41yrs and at one point I was smoking almost 4 packs a day. It was one of the toughest things I’ve ever done, but I had determination and I was not letting a cigarette rule my life anymore. It’s been almost 15 yrs since I quit. I was 8 yrs old when I started smoking.... So for much of my life I was a smoker....

So, yes, I do know how tough it will be.... Determination a strong will, and the help of many will get you through this....

 

[Lionheart]

I am impressed that you were able to stop cold turkey @She Cat , that must have been really difficult and I appreciate you for your support and encouragement. I will think of your success when I am reaching for my own goal...you are an inspiration!

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

This thread reminds me how it's not always the fear of death that kept me from doing things, but also the fear of life itself. Shift certainly happens, either way. Best of wishes in all of your attempts at pursuing wellness.

 

[Lionheart]

Death, I have discovered is not the opposite of life but rather a part of it, so to my mind, I think the fear of one can often lead to fear of the other.

At any rate it comes down to fear and I do my best not to let it rule my world. I am grateful for your support @Tornadic Thoughts , it means more to me than you may realize and helps more than you know!

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

Yeah. Fear can be a real bitch, even though it can be a real lifesaver, too.

I think that's where my thinking got screwed up back in the day. It was always taught to be some sort of majorly separate occurrence, and something so many folks were totally uncomfortable ever speaking of, making it quite the taboo subject, while all the while never addressing the fact that our first sign of sure death is being born, and we're all afflicted, whether we wish to be or not.

"Reality", at least as it's marketed this day and time, seems to get less and less real the longer I remain in this existence. Grateful for the spaces of nature to help keep me grounded to what feels more like the real deal, to me.

May we all comfortably find our own real deals and enrich our lives beyond what we've ever been taught is possible. Other people's perception of their own reality dictates how far they'll ever be able to help us expand ours. Choose your guides wisely.

 

[whiteraven]

I'm so late coming to this thread but I was drawn to it because I have been death-obsessed all my life and I recently discovered that it is because I'm afraid of it. That's practically a book, so I'll leave it for later, but I did want to chime in on a couple of things that are mentioned here.

I have OSA as well. I was having apneic episodes over 60 times an hour before I started using my CPAP; now I am down to something like .05. If I don't wear it, I notice daytime drowsiness and a few other symptoms that remind me why it's important to wear it. I also notice those symptoms if I need an adjustment to the pressure. If everything is working as it should, I am not drowsy during the day and not falling asleep at work or at traffic lights.

I'm reading a book right now called Staring at the Sun: Overcoming the Terror of Death, by Irvin D. Yalom. It's a really good book - I've been shocked that so many people share that fear of dying. I never knew. And so many of the feelings I have that I thought were just me are common among, apparently, many, many people. A great deal of my anxiety and depression can be traced back to this. One of my primary traumas was as witness to a series of deaths, then I experienced multiple deaths among family and friends very close together later, which I never processed. It's interesting to me how, now that I've started to explore death, I've discovered that the subject has really been a very close companion my whole life.

I hope @Lionheart777 you are doing ok. My thoughts are with you.