Feeling Lonely

[Alma]

Recently I've had new triggers I haven't had before so I'm panic attacks again and my anxiety is through the roof. But whenever I get a new trigger I feel really lonely. Does anyone else feel like this?

I've had ptsd for 10 years and been having help for 6 years. But I get so frustrated when there's a new trigger. I know a lot of my triggers and I put my coping mechanisms in place for them that work well for me. But I just hate new triggers and then having to set new coping mechanisms in place to deal with them. I find it exhausting at times and have this lonely feeling that on one else seems to understand.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Yes it feels lonely, I think part of it for me is my child self wanting to be rescued but it's too late, the damage is done, I wasn't comforted when I needed it. I'm sorry you feel lonely too. You're not alone in this.

 

[Jnean]

I feel similar but also feel strongly that I am not alone In feeling all of my feelings when it comes to any type of my trauma. I'm a survivor and I know that's what I will do, survive. But similar to you I do wonder what it looks like after therapy like what a life looks like differently than now with no more therapy. So I guess really I mean what's it like to feel that peace I desire. If nothing else we've got to be gaining strengths that should give us super powers!

 

[Alma]

Yes it feels lonely, I think part of it for me is my child self wanting to be rescued but it's too late, th...

Thank you. It's so nice to know I'm not alone with the way that I'm feeling. So much of that made sense. Thank you.

 

[Gadgie]

Do you think that we ever get used to living alone? If so, how long does it take?

As I'm getting to the stage of wondering why I'm here at all, I've gone from being a member of a family, caring for my late wife 24/7, for seven years, without any help from her family, to being totally alone, and cut off by the family I thought I was part of, which has turned on me with so much venom and hate!

Yet, when I look back on it all, is no bad thing, as it just showed what they really thought of me, so I'm quite content in that matter.

It's just the loneliness is hard to get used to, makes me wonder if I ever will? I need a purpose for being here.

 

[Jnean]

Write, a good purpose is to write like you are doing. Talk about it. We want to hear we are not alone.

 

[Gadgie]

Cheers for that, I used to write a lot, in fact I wrote short stories for a well known web site, they were published on the sites news paper.

Yet, I seem to have to lost the will to write these days. My life has never been the same since my wife passed last November.

It's been like a roller coaster ever since, with more downs than ups?

 

[Jnean]

I'm very sorry to hear, for you. The downs are harder to get through too I think, on a roller coast, in life. I know my brother died, I wished for awhile that it was my dad instead, which made me feel guilty too on top of full of grief. He was the glue in my family. I felt lost with out him for three to four years. I was suicidal. I feel for you. It's hard to deal with death. So often we wish it was ourselves instead. And want to join them. Perhaps look for a grief support group to attend too. When you are able to, talking about your wife may be helpful. No one talked about my brother like he just didn't exists, there's no manuel on how to get through grief but I sure there's good books out there that could be helpful too. Finding other support, building your own support network, like this site, you've already started, means your already taking steps to heal.

 

[Gadgie]

I did go to a group therapy class for people who lost loved ones through cancer. I did the whole seven meetings we had every fourteen days.

It did help me, but it wasn't until the last meeting we had, when I got the confidence to speak up, as all the rest of them were on about all the family or friends they had to help them through it, and I never.

In fact, it was the therapist from that group who came to see me, after I had an incident, and he was extremely helpful to me.