Finding The Balance Between Fight And Surrender

[Traumagirl]

But what if you're so overwhelmed that you can not accept all that is thrown your way? How can I accept my husband's cancer, my ptsd, my daughter's Down syndrome and my sons' ADHD all at the same time? What if it really is too much to accept? Do I surrender to the urges to do things that will ultimately hurt me?

 

[Red Feather]

But what if you're so overwhelmed that you can not accept all that is thrown your way?

So sorry to hear what pain you are going through. For me life is also very often too much to accept. But I have no other choice really...

 

[Red Feather]

The response to neediness sometimes isn't healthy.

I sometimes wonder if this is really true. Of course it can not become controlling which is undesirable, but to have the wish for comfort can not be wrong, you know?

 

[Meadowsweet]

But what if you're so overwhelmed that you can not accept all that is thrown your way? How can I accept my husband's cancer, my ptsd, my daughter's Down syndrome and my sons' ADHD all at the same time? What if it really is too much to accept? Do I surrender to the urges to do things that will ultimately hurt me?

I'm sorry that you have so much going on right now.

I think Nadia and Gizmo made a useful distinction between surrender and acceptance at #5 and #6.

But what works in one circumstance, won't necessarily work in another. I know that sometimes there are circumstances we just want to change, and we can't. At those times acceptance can feel like a dirty word or a minimisation of how painful the time is.

This maybe isn't the best thread to be helpful in those times.

Do you have someone who will let you talk to them about the things you are facing?

 

[Traumagirl]

Thank you Nadia and Meadowsweet for your comments. I do have a therapist to talk to, but even she says my life is too overwhelming at times. She gives me lots of strategies to deal with the stress, but I can tell you honestly, sometimes they are just not enough. I'm sitting here right now trying not to lose it at my two boys who are fighting endlessly and I understand that my cup is sooooooo full. I do have lots of positives in my life, so I try to concentrate on those. I need to be so strong and level around my kids and husband. I am thankful to have this forum for times that I need to fall apart. It's great to have people who understand. Thank you!

 

[Red Feather]

(((((hugs))))) I totally understand how it feels when the cup is too full. It helps to cry on someone's shoulder. We are here. I know it is sometimes better to have a real person, but the forum is a great support too. You're not alone.