Childhood Forced animal killing

[Digz]

Thank you very much for your kind words @RussellSue . It is a good reminder to try and be kinder to myself with these new flashbacks.

 

[Lionheart]

Hi, @Digz

I had something similar happen to me when I was about 4 years old. My father would kill my pets in front of me. Once my cat had kittens so my dad took them, put them inside a burlap sack, and hit them with a ball-peen hammer until they stopped moving. Another time he drowned them in the creek. The implication was that I was next.

I did not understand the concept of death at that age, but I knew something was very wrong. It made me feel sick inside and I understood enough to know he was hurting them. I was never forced to kill any of them, but I am sure I would have felt complete disgust if I had been just as you have and that shows me you are a healthy, loving person who cares about animals.

I am sure it stills seems like you did something wrong, but you didn't!!! You were totally innocent.

 

[internal]

this was a regular feater of my abuse among other things. you did what you had to do to survive.

when i was in uneversity i remember reading the cap by roman frister.

and there is some thing he says there which always had stuck with me. but the quote was:

"human life is the most importent thing. and my life was the most important human life."

the nitty gritty of really complicated trauma like this is often hard for out sides to get. but we do get you here. you're okay.