Forcing Myself To Recover

[Mim28]

I feel like I am forcing myself to recover. I'm fast running out of time with my leave and I really don't like the idea of being unemployed, not that anyone does.
I'm conflicted.
- Am I so afraid of being unemployed that I am willing to go back without feeling my best?
- will returning to a normal life help speed my recovery?
- Can I set boundaries so that I can return on a limited basis and still build balance in my life?
- How do I convince my family that this is what I need to do when everyone is looking at me like it's a big mistake.
I don't know what to do, but I have to try something?

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

Well, I suppose the answer might depend on what you are trying to recover from, and the severity of your symptoms.

Personally, I found it helpful, to some degree , to 'force ' recovery. When I didn't, I wallowed in my pain and memories; this made everything worse. When I 'forced recovery' by returning to teaching and normal life, I found respite from my pain; everyday activities brought me into healthy contact with healthy others, provided pleasant daily activities, and helped me sort of do my own CBT by reminding me that I do enjoy positive relationships and experiences. In other words, work reminded me that, even though I am unhappy about certain things, even though I fight depression literally every day, there ARE good things in my life worth focusing on. Then, of course, I realized that I was a lot happier focusing on the positive than on the negative.

This is how I fight depression literally on a daily basis. No drugs, psychiatrists, or therapist, but rather just choosing to focus on the good. Also, I spend as much time as possible on a daily basis doing only things that have the potential to bring me joy.

 

[Ronin]

Coming from the other end, a bit.

I tend to force my recovery & screw myself up royally in the process.

So, slow is smooth, smooth is complete, complete is healing.

 

[joeylittle]

will returning to a normal life help speed my recovery?

It often helps - I don't know that it makes it go faster, necessarily, but allowing yourself to start taking on tasks will create an additional layer of challenges that you can then solve - it's in how we manage stress that we move forward, and you can't increase your capacity to manage it unless you increase the stress.

In less words: using and putting strain on an injured body part is the second half of recovering full use of it. I do believe there's a lot about the brain that works the same way.

Can I set boundaries so that I can return on a limited basis and still build balance in my life?

Absolutely - and that is going to be important. Only you can know when too much is just too much - so you will need to be able to respond to overload in a way that supports your long term goals.

I think a common mistake is to go all-or-nothing with it, to think you're either on a break or you're full strength. The fact is, even the most mentally healthy and competent person is not running at 100% capacity sunup to sundown. Everyone needs to structure breaks, diversions, rest - self-care.

Write out a plan for the day. Make it achievable. And stick to it. Aim a little low, in terms of what you believe you can accomplish - you can learn where you can add more to your plate by doing that. Always have a little list of short optional things that you can do if you are feeling up to them - but you aren't planning to do them, they will be extras for times you feel good.

How do I convince my family that this is what I need to do when everyone is looking at me like it's a big mistake.

First of all, don't mind-read. You say people are looking at you like you're making a mistake. Is that what they really think? Have they said it? If not, then the truth is, you don't know what they think. You may not need to convince them of anything. It might just be about sharing your plan.

It will be worth it for your loved ones to be in the loop about how you are addressing your own re-integration into 'normal' life/routines. Not so they can help, necessarily - but more so that you can know you aren't trying to hide something or be more OK than you are.

 

[Mim28]

First of all, don't mind-read. You say people are looking at you like you're making a mistake. Is that what they really think? Have they said it? If not, then the truth is, you don't know what they think. You may not need to convince them of anything. It might just be about sharing your plan.

It will be worth it for your loved ones to be in the loop about how you are addressing your own re-integration into 'normal' life/routines. Not so they can help, necessarily - but more so that you can know you aren't trying to hide something or be more OK than you are.

Thank you Joey for the sound advice. To clarify, my family members are telling me they think I'm making a mistake. I did review it with my therapist today and she said much of what you did, so thank you. She supports me in my attempt to try to return to work. I agree, I need to gently add stress and build that muscle.

 

[Freedomfighter]

I feel like I am forcing myself to recover. I'm fast running out of time with my leave and I really don'...

You are bringing up a good point, that is exactly what it is: I feel the same way: I have to force myself every day to get better. But then that is what humans have to do when they are ill: they have to force themselves to fight the disease, right?

 

[The Albatross]

I forced myself too but called it a goal and did other goals and short/medium/longer term ones to do to get the habit of doing that because I don't like negative consequences and couldn't afford to not be employed for very long after an extended long illness and a bout of agoraphobic tendencies which lead to the PTSD diagnosis.

I'm with Buckaroo, Joey & Freedomfighter. But the coping about being uncomfortable for finite periods, managing the thoughts and feelings... those had to be in place and all the little goal and medium goal stuff I achieved (from silly to serious) gave me the confidence I needed to rejoin the workforce.

 

[Sunshinekaz]

Coming from the other end, a bit.

I tend to force my recovery & screw myself up royally in the process....

I do this all the time i throw myself in without a life raft so to speak. Then end up really hyper and not in a good place

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am doing this now. Just a bit at a time and it helps to gain more momentum.