Going no contact with a family member that is a narcissist

[Deleted member 541]

I'm glad that you're not getting involved, because it's exactly what she wants. Then she has you right where she wants you. Crawling back, being mommy, so she can abuse you some more. Find out from the police is she's been placed in the hospital. If she hasn't, well, then she's home and still doing what she needs to do, and you are still doing what you need to do.

The only way I would get involved again, is if she was in therapy, clean and sober, and willing to take responsibility for the things she's done. This is my stance with my daughter. I know it will never happen, but it's the only way I would even THINK about restarting the relationship with her!!! I'm just not into abuse anymore!!!!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

If I could like you post a million times I would!!!!:D

Find out from the police is she's been placed in the hospital.

I find out tonight from a follow up call if they choose to give out any information that is.

I am doing pretty good all things considering. I feel so sorry for the kids dealing with it without a break or escape anymore at my place. At least I offered them unconditional love, acceptance without judging, and a refuge from harsher realities of home life with their mom.

I'm just not into abuse anymore!!!!

I am not either. The last time I saw her, was a huge reality check for me and one I will never forget. If she was to get sober, and then get seriously into therapy for herself then and only then would I begin to even consider having a relationship with her, and I do not think that is going to happen either. Sadly she is in serious need of help which is beyond my scope.

I am going to stay no contact and mind my own life and try to live a happier more peaceful one at that.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Rain Did you hear anything from the PD???

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I talked to them last night, they went and checked on her, she was not suicidal so they left her at home, I got an angry text later on from her telling me to text her again, which I have not been doing so I just ignored it and have not heard back from her again. So whatever, she wanted to get from me failed miserably so she is back to raging again. I had no clue what she was expecting from me when she sent me the videos. I have no clue whatsoever. I guess maybe she was hoping I would just drop everything to comfort her or who the hell knows what she wanted from me. Whatever result she had hoped for did not happen. So she is angry. I know she needs help and her brain dead boyfriend must have his head up his ass not to see how desperately my daughter needs an intervention. I have a tiny clue about my daughter now that I did not have before......she is not a happy person anymore. Sorry I cannot be more helpful....I am just scratching my head wondering what the hell is going on with her right now?

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Rain She is raging because you HAVEN'T contacted her. It's what you always did, the minute she wanted you to. Anytime there was trouble, she needed help, or for any other reason, mommy was right there to fix it, only to have her shove it up your ass later.... She can't control you any more and she is PISSED!!!!!

Let her be pissed, let her rage.... she will ultimately figure out that it isn't working anymore and that this is a real strong boundary that you've placed on her. She will either continue to rage until the rage has run its course or she will try more and more to get your attention.....

Stay strong mom!!!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Stay strong mom!!!

Thank you I needed to hear this so much. The whole thing just sickens me. I am so tired of her raging on me. Maybe the entire family expects me to fix my daughter who the hell knows? This way no one is talking to each other anymore because that is what my daughter wanted in order to control everyone. I had a weak moment a little while ago and you really helped me to snap back into reality.

She wants me to crawl back to her apologizing to her, nothing more, she wants the old familiar power over me she used to hold over me like a heavy club for so long. She refuses to admit she is needy because she cannot look at her part in anything so she sloughs it all off on me.

This is a premeditated resentment that I am in the wake of I really think.

I am so tired today, and I will admit it, weak. I was deeply affected by the videos of her cutting her arm more than I was aware of. I am realizing it today and I wonder sadly if she is suicidal and if this is the case can I live with myself not talking to her and in the event that she does kill herself?

Let her be pissed, let her rage.... she will ultimately figure out that it isn't working anymore and that this is a real strong boundary that you've placed on her. She will either continue to rage until the rage has run its course or she will try more and more to get your attention.....

Okay, I will do this again. I will allow her to be pissed at me. I am so tired of being a punching bag for her to take out everything on. She can rage away as long as it stays with her where she is at. As long as I do not have to hear or see it anymore, I do just fine eventually. You have been right all of the way having gone through your own baptism of fire. I trust you. Thanks for being here today. I really appreciate your strong support through this hellish experience. Hugs.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Rain....... you are NOT allowing her to be pissed at you..... She doing this on her own. It's her rage, her emotions, her actions. You have nothing to do with what she does or how she acts. So let go of that guilt/blame right now because you don't own it. SHE DOES!!!!!

Just keep busy, go out with friends, dig dirt in your garden and sit in the sun and relax.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thank you, for catching that one for me. I am so weak today. I am going out tomorrow and I will be busy all day. I am too wiped out today to go anywhere. I feel I am at the end of myself. I feel I have gone as far as I can go and there is nothing left of me. Ever feel like that? This last thing was really way over the top. I am trying to be strong, I really am.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Well, you better find the strength to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, because there is a lot more to life than just your kid!!!!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

But I am not wearing boots;):hug:

 

[Deleted member 541]

Find some boots!!! LOL!!!!!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Does it have to be boots? I prefer moccasins. I am doing okay today, onwards and upwards. LOL:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao: