We met over 2 years ago and we were smitten with one another immediately. Everything about each other seemed to scream our prayers had been answered for a spouse. After a year of dating we were engaged then the real drama began.
I noticed after a few months that he drank more than I would prefer. I let him know cut it back or I am gone ...he cut it back. Then just before getting engaged I noticed knives stashed; I said something and they were gone the next time I visited his home. While on my birthday trip I noticed he planned on stealing a knife from the hotel. I returned that knife and we never spoke about it. While engaged he lost another job by walking out. In the midst of all our bills and planning he said the pressure was to great and told them he wanted to commit suicide. That night the police came to his home and carried him off to the mental hospital for evaluation. So YES I saw the signs!
Since we were engaged he fell sick twice requiring that he have 2 surgeries and the second one seemed to be the worst. It was so hard on him physically and it was mentally draining. I empathized with him but all he could see was his own pain. I was planning a wedding raising my child and back in college as well as tending to him and working FT. He refused to eat hospital food which left me to prepare his meals too. Once he came out he just quit life and basically dropped away. I assumed the wedding was off since he would no longer willing to communicate with me. As I continued to be supportive I notified his family out of the area of the deterioration in him. He was quite angry that I informed his family of the situation. That is when they all started to come clean about his PTSD. Still we were able to get past that with some counseling and a PAIRS retreat for veterans and their spouses. Recently we married.
The wedding day was quite nice but he became angered when I didn't want to keep being intimate on our wedding night (2x already). I said hey it's my night too and I am tired. He finally calmed down and that boiled over. About a week later the doctors changed his medication and he has been a different person since. I suggested we take a few days off and he came to me and expressed that was not needed. We fight constantly as a result about a week ago I threw the ring back at him. I never thought I would be that angry but his PTSD is overwhelming and I feel trapped. I told him that then he stormed out and was ready to leave our home that night. I suggested he review the medication side effects and to alert the doctor to the reaction. That conversation led to another verbal attack. I couldn't help bringing up the side effects may be exageratted because I know he has been drinking too much along with the medication.
We just spent our first Christmas married near each other but not with one another. We were home and either snapped at one another or didn't say a word. Mostly my feelings are hurt and I don't want to talk to him; oddly I do still want him to comfort me so when I can I snuggle up to him. In many ways he is the man's man I always wanted but right now I feel like I am trapped in a marriage to an immature selfish person. I love him!!! But I admit to being sad and now I think I made a mistake and do not know what to do next.
What next???
I noticed after a few months that he drank more than I would prefer. I let him know cut it back or I am gone ...he cut it back. Then just before getting engaged I noticed knives stashed; I said something and they were gone the next time I visited his home. While on my birthday trip I noticed he planned on stealing a knife from the hotel. I returned that knife and we never spoke about it. While engaged he lost another job by walking out. In the midst of all our bills and planning he said the pressure was to great and told them he wanted to commit suicide. That night the police came to his home and carried him off to the mental hospital for evaluation. So YES I saw the signs!
Since we were engaged he fell sick twice requiring that he have 2 surgeries and the second one seemed to be the worst. It was so hard on him physically and it was mentally draining. I empathized with him but all he could see was his own pain. I was planning a wedding raising my child and back in college as well as tending to him and working FT. He refused to eat hospital food which left me to prepare his meals too. Once he came out he just quit life and basically dropped away. I assumed the wedding was off since he would no longer willing to communicate with me. As I continued to be supportive I notified his family out of the area of the deterioration in him. He was quite angry that I informed his family of the situation. That is when they all started to come clean about his PTSD. Still we were able to get past that with some counseling and a PAIRS retreat for veterans and their spouses. Recently we married.
The wedding day was quite nice but he became angered when I didn't want to keep being intimate on our wedding night (2x already). I said hey it's my night too and I am tired. He finally calmed down and that boiled over. About a week later the doctors changed his medication and he has been a different person since. I suggested we take a few days off and he came to me and expressed that was not needed. We fight constantly as a result about a week ago I threw the ring back at him. I never thought I would be that angry but his PTSD is overwhelming and I feel trapped. I told him that then he stormed out and was ready to leave our home that night. I suggested he review the medication side effects and to alert the doctor to the reaction. That conversation led to another verbal attack. I couldn't help bringing up the side effects may be exageratted because I know he has been drinking too much along with the medication.
We just spent our first Christmas married near each other but not with one another. We were home and either snapped at one another or didn't say a word. Mostly my feelings are hurt and I don't want to talk to him; oddly I do still want him to comfort me so when I can I snuggle up to him. In many ways he is the man's man I always wanted but right now I feel like I am trapped in a marriage to an immature selfish person. I love him!!! But I admit to being sad and now I think I made a mistake and do not know what to do next.
What next???
