Has Anyone Come Out Of A Controlling Relationship And They Feel Awkward Etc All The Time?

[Azaria]

I really relate to this feeling. I told my T that I feel like I'm so compartmentalized and so eager...

Hi this my first time on a site like this. I thought it might help to connect with others who experience similar things. I've been struggling to connect with people. I came out of an extremely abusive marriage and I feel like I'm still in fight mode all the time. When people talk about how they're worried about "normal everyday" things I feel resentment cause I still feel like I'm fighting for my life. I feel like I have to shut down the parts that would be too much for them cause I don't think they could handle it. And especially with new people, obviously I'm not going to bring it up. But its always there. I feel like I do the compartmentalised thing you described and it means I can carry conversations fine and seem involved but I'm about to break inside. I mean the things I say but I still feel like I'm hiding all these other pieces. I feel a mess. Even if I manage to enjoy spending time with a person, I feel exhausted after and overly emotional and depressed and anxious and angry. Like I'm not normal. I know everyone is different. But use to be very social, I was with people all the time and I was happy and I wasn't afraid of being attacked all the time or feeling like I have to carefully evaluate peoples intentions that they're not getting close so they can hurt me, particularly with men. I'm getting better at managing the anxiety in these situations but its like it slams me after and I cant pinpoint it properly.

 

[elektriknathan]

Hi this my first time on a site like this. I thought it might help to connect with others who experience...

I am not a psychologist but perhaps you may have some social anxiety disorder. I have this after being exposed to relentless judgement and criticism from abusive people

I've found that it is best to accept that some people are jerks but on the whole the majority of humans are good people that mean well and ultimately who cares if you goof up or something? It's not that bad, could be worse

 

[Cannottakethis]

I can relate from both my family and from my last marriage. My ex was so controlling with food, showers, sleeping... the first time I tried to go food shopping after we separated I ran out of the store in tears. I didn't know what to buy, what to eat, etc.

My parents made me second guess everything I did careerwise, relationships, my self esteem....

I think I sought out toxic relationships because of them.

 

[Eli]

Hello.

I have been surrounded by toxic religion and toxic individuals for most of my life. I m...

Hi,
Gaslighting is the term I would use - yes I have experienced what you describe - what helped me - developped a strong believe in myself, focused on my own life philosophy and intentions. If someones actions constantly do not fit to what he wants you to believe - leave