Has Anyone Got Any Advice They Can Offer?

[2quilt]

I have printed out my posts and taken them to my counsellor before, and it helps for him to see my feelings in writing. I think that one of the best things about website forums like this one is that we can write down our feelings in diaries and posts then read them , and it helps get the feelings out.

You are not alone in your feelings! I have felt the same way you do now. i betcha many of us have been there too. Don't give up. Keep writing and keep going to therapy.

 

[Rivergirl]

Wow, that is amazing (and very unprofessional) that he wasn't there! He should have confirmed with you whether you were going to continue, not just assumed you weren't. WOW that amazes me!
Listen, talking to someone that you don't know----especially a trained counsellor----can be very helpful. Someone who isn't involved in your situation or your life, who isn't there to judge or tell you what to do, who can help you unravel things and guide you as you find your way through the swamp, and ask helpful questions and challenging questions, and remind you of things to remember (like coping skills, and that you're not going crazy)-----talking to someone else can be a huge help. Even knowing that you have that weekly appointment. For me that keeps me slogging forward when if I didn't have the appointment looming I would just hibernate (and it's summer for cripes sake! :rofl:)
Don't try to tough your way through this alone. Use this forum, find another counsellor, call a crisis line, ask some trusted friends if they can recommend a good counsellor and find one who has experience dealing with trauma and maybe even PTSD-----reach out because that's the only way you're going to reach a life raft.
You are NOT going crazy. I had many of the same things happen to me-----even a couple of blackouts where I had done things and not remembered. (one morning I woke up and found a half-eaten pizza in my oven and had no memory of how it got there. Unless a burglar entered and ordered in.....). As somebody who has been fairly reasonable and sane and in charge and in control all my life, I have been so alarmed at my out-of-control reactions and rollercoastering emotions. It helps to remind myself to slow it down----one day at a time (to use a cliche) and sometimes one morning or afternoon at a time, or one hour at a time. And never forget-----this kind of reaction to trauma (or memories of trauma) is normal behaviour. It's so common they even named a disorder after it----PTSD.
Find someone who can reach into the middle of this hurricane you're in and hold your hand. You're not alone.

Rivergirl

 

[Rivergirl]

P.S.--------------and very good for you for going back all prepared to deal with your previous session with him! That took guts, woman!
:Hug_emoticon:

Rivergirl

 

[becvan]

So I went to my next appointment, and the councillor wasn't there. We didn't cancel so all I can think is that he decided I wasn't coming back or he has given up on me.

First off well done on going back and being so prepared despite your struggle with it.

Now I would like to point out something. You are assuming that he thinks or has decided to give up on you. Not a fact. He is human. There could have been an emergency he had to attend to, a muck up in the scheduling.. in fact any number of things could have gone wrong here. Jumping to conclusions that he just doesn't care isn't going to get you anywhere.

Have you considered calling him and going "What's up? You weren't there for our appointment?" You might be surprised at why he missed it.

Really you have yourself trapped in a negative thinking style. Actually a few of them.. read this over.. it might help some and consider giving him a friendly call and the chance to explain what happened. I've had my therapist miss a few due to unforeseen circumstances.. it's not that unusual.
[DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread171.html[/DLMURL]

bec