Sufferer Hi, My Name Is Kat

[katstokes95]

Hi guys:

My name is Kat, and I found this forum through a search about PTSD. I lurked for a few months without joining, but I decided I wanted to write and interact with you all after I realized I would find friends and support.

I was diagnosed with PTSD, panic disorder and major depression a year ago after I was gang raped at a local university. The assault occurred in the fall and in the spring I reported. At the end of the investigation it was determined that criminal charges could not be brought against the perps. pursued a civil case as well, but to no avail. Both of those experiences were intensely painful, and still hurt me. It feels like I've been told I don't matter. It's blatant rape culture. I hate it. Now I am learning to carry my burdens and hopefully be free someday.

Anyways, I just wanted to say hi! I plan to share more when I have time later on. I can't wait to meet you guys. :)

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

Welcome. I am glad you decided to join. There is definitely support to be found here. What you went through was horrible, but I just want to say I admire your courage to pursue legal action even though it made you feel worse, hold onto that courage.

 

[Lucycat]

Hi @katstokes95 and welcome to the forum.

It makes it so much harder when you pluck up the courage to report and then nothing happens. I am so sorry that you had to go through that. However I hope you are now on a journey to healing. If you are not in therapy I would strongly recommend that you investigate it. What you have been through does not need to blight your future.

 

[City Slicker]

It feels like I've been told I don't matter.

It's sad when the systems we look to to assist in healing contribute to the injury. Following a legal process isn't what we typically think it is - what is fair, equitable, honourable, right and moral isn't necessarily what the law was designed to 'make right'. Sometimes the law achieves those things but more often it does not.

The fact that the law doesn't recognize what you have gone through in a way that is meaningful to you will not take away what has happened and how you will heal from this and the importance of what you have been through.

You matter.

 

[Matt1055]

Hi guys:

My name is Kat, and I found this forum through a search about PTSD. I lurked for a few mon...

Welcome, Kat.

What a horrible experience. I'm certain there is a special little corner in Hell for persons you faced. Keep moving forward.

Welcome to the forums!

M

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Welcome....

Unfortunately most of us don't get any justice. Now that you've fought to the full extent of the law, I urge you to find a way to let it go and focus your efforts on healing yourself.

 

[intothelight]

@katstokes95 Welcome to the forum!

You were really brave to report and to try for justice and I am sorry that the system failed so miserably. There were several times I lost the legal battles, but ultimately I won the war by healing and living my life. Recovery is possible and finding peace and happiness is not out of reach. I hope you find this forum and the support here beneficial.

 

[joeylittle]

Welcome, @katstokes95. I'm a survivor of gang rape, and am really, really sorry that you've gone through the pain of that. It was incredibly brave of you to step forward, and remember, no matter what the law can or cannot do, your story is important and you are important. I'm glad you're here.

 

[katstokes95]

Wow thank you guys all so much!! I want to respond later to each... :)

 

[Nighthawk]

Welcome to the forum

 

[WillyKat]

Welcome, from one KAT to another.

When those that are supposed to protect us, or help us redress grievances don't, that can be more painful than the trauma itself. We don't expect bad people to be good; but when good people don't do good things, it's awful.

You'll find lots of support here.

 

[WillyKat]

PS, I actually like your sideways avatar.