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Hi, I'm new here, and kinda new to the whole ptsd thing too. I've had ptsd coming up 3 years but only diagnosed for about a year. I don't really know what else to say. If anyone has any questions or anything, ask away. Thanks for reading.
Welcome to the forum, chlo. It will get easier to know what to say as you go along. I think that might be the whole point for my own visits here. Getting it into words helps, somehow. Personally, I digest it better when I take small bytes.
Mine would be complex PTSD from childhood abuse. An Army shrink spotted my trauma induced amnesia in 1974. I flat out refused to see the repressed memories as a problem until the late 80s when the family history started to repeat with my own kids. We are doomed to repeat that which we forget... Unfortunately I did not get with a program until damage was already done to my own kids. They are no longer kids.
I'll bet you that you do know people with PTSD. I know I still don't consider it worthy of small talk, but once I started coming out of the closet I started finding kindred spirits in the most surprising places.
"Normal teenager?" isn't that a contradiction in terms? All teenagers are great works in progress. I believe you can grow the person you are now into a fantastic work of art.
Hopes and hugs, chlo. Growth happens. May it happen to you.
I would REALLY be worried about you if you actually enjoyed having PTSD. I surely don't know how to enjoy it. Still, hardships like PTSD can add rich contrasts of compassion, acceptance and/or other traits if you let it. No work of art can achieve greatness without contrast.
Alfie just like you mine is CPTSD for the same reasons. Stemming from childhood into my adult years. I am now the father of 3 teenagers and three under fives myself. I have driven them away due to my condition and hate myself for it every day. I am living with the decisions I have wrongly made over the years and kick myself for not as you say "getting with a program sooner".
I too was in the Armed Forces but was beaten quite badly by an NCO to the point he put me in a wheelchair. I locked down for nearly twenty years after this and it all came out like a claymore going off next to me.
Chlo you are not alone here at all. If you need to talk or just vent steam we are all here to listen and chat any time you need someone to talk to xx Kind regards