Relationship How Common Is It For Supporters To Be Temporarily Vilified?

[Rainbow]

I don't think vilifying is a ptsd thing. I am not saying it doesn't happen, but it it isn't ptsd speci...

I'm manipulative, unreasonable, gold digger, no understanding of life at all and of him in particular, waiting for a rose garden. Think life is a utopia. Considering all I've been through which is more like Hades then Heaven, the utopia one is the most ridiculous.

Don't think its all PTSD, it's also just an inability to take any responsibility for one's actions , thus the vilification. Everything is excusable because there's a good reason.....

 

[TheMinsterman]

I'm manipulative, unreasonable, gold digger, no understanding of life at all and of him in particular,...

It's only my theory, but I think the vilification is just a normal stress response in people. When my stress is at peak I am such an arsehole, I lash out, I say things I may not really mean, anybody going through a bad patch of PTSD is obviously excessively stressed, which would explain the vilification, the lashing out, the unreasonable insults.

It's the PTSD raising the stress levels beyond all limits of coping, but it's just the same stress response many people have, when I put it that way I do tend to find it less insulting. Don't get me wrong, it hurts, but I know I can say plenty I don't really think or believe when I am stressed.

 

[StormySea]

It's only my theory, but I think the vilification is just a normal stress response in people. Whe...

Yep, I totally agree. Good to know I'm not the only temporary villain here.

 

[Sweetpea76]

It's fight/flight at work. Lashing out happens, and it's no fun to be the target of it. This is where setting boundaries comes into play.

You, as a supporter, are allowed to have your limits and boundaries too. You do not have to tolerate verbal abuse and lashing out just because your partner has PTSD. It is not "mean" or "selfish" to remove yourself from the situation until your partner settles down.

 

[boodle]

What a fascinating thread. I have spent quite some time wondering why I was being villified even though I had been patent and allowed my partner space when needed. I didn't react in the main to the villification. I offered support to what my friends though was above and beyond what I should have.

I wondered if the villification came as a justification for the pain being caused. What I mean is, if the partner is made out to be some kind of horrible person, then the guilt/stress felt by the sufferer for hurting them is less? Its just a thought.

 

[TheMinsterman]

What a fascinating thread. I have spent quite some time wondering why I was being villified even though...

I suspect so, it's easier to hate and lash out at somebody we've set up to be objectively flawed or "bad" in some way. It's a part of the human condition, it's easy to hate "the other" and the "enemy". It's a shame we get seen as that but I am sure it's very much an active part of it.

 

[Amack]

My aunt has always said, "We hurt the ones we love the most because they are safe, in our pain they won't abandon us.."

Now, is this BS maybe? But damn (sorry) sure seems true in all of these posts. Of course, there is that arse in every situation that will use any excuse to be an arse........but some days this actually gives me hope. Becuase he has NEVER had anyone he could call safe...no excuse for bad behavior, but let me be honest I am super duper positive and loving and giving.....but flipside, you cross me or my kids I am a TIGER....so yea, I have bit back several times.

But the vilification, I guess we all just have to have a big, hearty, heaving LOL!!! because we must be just the opposite of what is being spewed...... AWESOME! we are AWESOME.......Ok, some days we aren't but today just be awesome to yourself!!!! This PTSD sucks the awesomeness right outta ya!!

 

[katz]

I divorce my husband a few times a month. At least.

I'm working on it

You too! I'm probably about once a week--on a good week! LOL

 

[Gs172003]

You too! I'm probably about once a week--on a good week! LOL

I'm glad it's not just me lol

I haven't done it this week

 

[katz]

I'm glad it's not just me lol

I haven't done it this week

Good for "him" ?? LOL