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How Did You Sleep Last Night?

Day 14 of cold/flu - Using NyQuil and DayQuil again. Slept a solid eight hours without interruption, and I'm beginning to feel that by the end of the weekend the blasted bugs will be out of my system.
 
Nightmares. Lots of nightmares until I managed to wake up properly.

Nothing involving Joan Rivers or giant snakes biting at my arm, but nasty nightmares all the same. Now I don't want to sleep.

I need to get out of this cycle of swinging from sleeping too much and being unable to wake up, to desperately wanting to sleep and not being able to, to actually not wanting to sleep and keeping myself awake until I'm exhausted.

I'm a bit worried if I go to sleep now I'll have a nightmare about Joan Rivers becoming a giant snake:nailbiting: :wideeyed: :laugh:.
 
I had a lot of dreams. At least one of them was a nightmare. Another one was disturbing. I feel like I woke up a couple of times. I got hard news yesterday and I'm triggered stressed out and anxious. I wish I could escape into sleep and not be bombarded with restless sleep nightmares disturbing dreams and thinking in my sleep. I wish sleep for all of us PTSD sufferers meant a restful recharging sleep like it means for everyone else. I feel like we really need it.
 
Started out a bad dream with my mother, but then I stood up to her in it and recognized that, so I was happy. In the dream and out. Sleep was full of dreams last night. Just realizing how many right now. Quite a few. Other than that it was restful.
 
It was the third night in a row, I dreamed of my much older sibling. She tried to enter my apartment by force and had even some dubious people with her, which tried to force me to like her and be friends with her. (I really despise my much older sibling. It's a dangerous kind of "monster" of its own. I still remember being slapped and shaken by her, when I was a little child..)
 
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Last night, I would doze off and then unexpectedly wake up moments to minutes later, when jolted awake from terror and energy. It was very uncomfortable and strange. There was no leading visuals, thoughts nor apparent feelings, as I simply drifted off calmly and quickly was awoken through energy-charged, abrupt screams and cries. This occurred over and over each time I'd doze, til finally it apparently stopped happening.
 
I am exhausted and need sleep. :eek: Meanwhile, I'm in conflict with allowing myself what I need and consuming time in that way. Apparently, tonight I'm not certain I deserve sleep. Damn, I do the same thing with my memory for and willingness to drink water and too often now. This is not accurate, nor rational thinking. I do deserve sleep and water and even during these reoccurring times, for which I think not.
 

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