Super CoolTM
Bronze Member
I have schizophrenia/depression/multiple anxiety disorders, so of course I depersonalize/disconnect a lot. It's been worse ever since I started Testosterone (I am FTM Trans). The voices have been louder and it's awful. I don't know what to do.
I feel like I'm piloting a dead body. I already have a hard time controlling the muscles in my hands but even now it's really hard for me to type because my body is cold and numb. My teacher pulled be aside in a separate room (white walls which triggers my schizo) and now I can't think, understand words, my vision is blurry, and I'm depressed. I don't know what to do.
It only reminds me of how much of a failure I am. It's true. I can't focus or do anything in school, even in my special ED class. I'm a failure, and my teachers agree. I cannot get help because when I did in the past no one helped me.
I can't get a doctor because they're untrustworthy and they're secretly judging me/out to get me. I can't speak to them because it's hard. I can feel myself going into a deep psychotic break.
I just really need some help. I feel like my hands and leg have been bonded with weights and I was thrown in a lake. I just don't know what to do.
I feel like I'm piloting a dead body. I already have a hard time controlling the muscles in my hands but even now it's really hard for me to type because my body is cold and numb. My teacher pulled be aside in a separate room (white walls which triggers my schizo) and now I can't think, understand words, my vision is blurry, and I'm depressed. I don't know what to do.
It only reminds me of how much of a failure I am. It's true. I can't focus or do anything in school, even in my special ED class. I'm a failure, and my teachers agree. I cannot get help because when I did in the past no one helped me.
I can't get a doctor because they're untrustworthy and they're secretly judging me/out to get me. I can't speak to them because it's hard. I can feel myself going into a deep psychotic break.
I just really need some help. I feel like my hands and leg have been bonded with weights and I was thrown in a lake. I just don't know what to do.
