Relationship How Do I Let Go Of The Guilt?

[sadly]

You know Discarded , I had been married for 20 years and had a dreadful divorce. I would say I loved my ex husband but I fell totally in love with my lovely man. Then he triggered, not sure what, I think a combination but once he started to slide, well that was it. I could not reach him.

Like you I feel I have let him down. Just wish I could stop shedding tears. I think I am OK then they come again .

 

[discarded]

I found out over Christmas that the internet affair my husband started many years ago has actually advanced to a full blown affair that has been going on and off for a few years now. I can't cope any more. Had a breakdown on new years day and if it were not for my sister and brother and probably would have done something stupid to myself. I have cut all communication with my husband now and I am looking forward to healing myself in 2013 and building a new life for my daughter and myself.

I want to thank everyone on here for all the support you have given me. As I am no longer a supporter I don't know that I will be visiting the forum much any more. The forum gave me hope, false hope in my case that things might work out. I know that for many of you it has but in my case there is far more than PTSD going on here and I need to heal myself now and do my best to put this chapter of my life behind me.

 

[Dallas]

I'm sorry Discarded....:(

Praying for your healing...

Sincerely,
Dallas.

 

[Sailorgal]

I'm so sorry discarded. I didn't know he had any affair at all.

Wishing you healing for you and your kids and a brighter future. You deserve a fresh start for 2013. :)

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am sorry discarded. I will miss you. I understand that you need to take care of yourself and your daughter. I think this is so tragic.

I wish you a brighter future once you have heales and moved on past this terrible experience. It sure has been rough on you. I wish you would stay in the forrum at least to get support as you rebuild your life. Hugs and prayers if that is ok.

 

[Bilby]

Oh no :( I am so very, very sorry.

Be kind to yourself, and I hope that the rest of 2013 sees more positive things coming your way for both you, and your daughter.

B x

 

[dms]

For those of you who do not know my situation, I am a supporter of a sufferer of military PTSD. I made the decision to leave my husband after 28 years together, just on 4 months ago. I left with the hope that it would trigger him to seek effective treatment for his condition, he said at the time he hoped it would be a temporary separation. 4 months has gone and things have not gone well and I have come to the conclusion that our marriage is not repairable, that the man I loved and married no longer exists and the man he now is just wants to accept his life as it is and live in solitude.

I'm so sorry discarded.....I feel your pain.

 

[amethist]

Sorry to hear this discarded.

You dont have to leave us yet though, you can still use the forum to help you get back on your feet.

We are here for as long as this takes.

 

[Bilby]

P.S. I will miss you, discarded. I sincerely wish you all the very best - you deserve it. :hug:

 

[sadly]

I will hold you in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[discarded]

Thank you to all of you for your support. I will access the forum for support when I need it. Just like a PTSD sufferer I had to hit rock bottom before I realised just how bad things had become. When I decided on New Year's Day that I really didn't want to live anymore and fell apart I finally for the first time reached out for help. I actually believed that if I could get my husband to get help that was all I needed to get over my depression. I was very wrong. Sure I had been going along to the counsellor but not really taking in what they were saying because I believed my husband was the only one who had a problem.

I urge all of the supporters out there to take of yourselves first. Don't believe for an instant that the situation has not affected your own mental health, that by fixing your sufferer all will be ok. Today I am in a much better frame of mind than I was a few days ago. I had well and truly hit the wall. If it were not for my family I may not be here today. I (like my husband) had hidden so much of my pain from everyone. I had become a person I didn't like anymore, I was doing things so out of character for me, things I wish I could take back. I think I was actually in a worse place than my husband. I reached out to him for help in my darkest hour and he turned me away.

So today when I visit my GP I will be totally honest. I will ask for help for real this time. It is time to learn to let go of the past and move forward to a much happier future with my daughter.

 

[amethist]

So today when I visit my GP I will be totally honest. I will ask for help for real this time. It is time to learn to let go of the past and move forward to a much happier future with my daughter.

Hard as this may seem at first, this is what we have to do. Be honest with those who can help us.

Take care, you will get past the hurt in time.