How do you encourage self belief

[wfcs]

How do you believe your good enough when people tell you your not?

 

[No More]

So first I start with fact. Fact check what people are telling you. Are you saying you want to do Olympic gymnastics and they’re saying, respectfully, that’s not on the cards for you?

OR are these people you wouldn’t take advice from, who are saying your not good enough over perfectly arbitrary things that you are either fine at, or could be well on your way to being fine at with more self belief?

Start small, start with an achievable challenge, and work up. Tell yourself you can do hard things. Take up a sport and push yourself to reach your goals.

Surround yourself with positive people who challenge you kindly. If you’re stuck with a bucket of negative people with no self confidence then it’s very hard to develop. Try and be around people you look up to who can pull you along with them.

 

[arfie]

1) i consider the source. most of the people who tell me i'm not good enough are really talking to themselves. when you point a finger at someone else, there are three fingers pointed back at you.

2) i lean heavily on my therapy support network for therapy work on my own self-esteem. i look to strengthen my self-esteem to withstand the inevitable criticisms of others.

 

[Sideways]

‘Good enough’ is a tricky one.

Because oftentimes, we’re actually say “good enough to…”. Which is very loaded. And dangerously entering self esteem territory, where we assess our worth based on something that is very dependent on external variables completely outside our control.

But the simpler version, “good enough”, all by itself, is gold. You are good enough. Just as you are.

That can be a springboard, to work towards goals. But reframing is still important, so that we don’t start framing our self concept on those flimsy self-esteem variables. So it’s not “I’m good enough to…”.

Instead, it’s more like, “I’m good enough. So I’m going to try…”.

Just as you are, you are good enough. Even if you try and fail to meet those goals.

 

[Friday]

Believing in yourself is going to be pretty deeply tied, in my experience, to

- Knowing what you value
- Self-Worth
- Confidence (born of practice & experience)
- Trust (as in trusting yourself!)

There are a few really badass threads from a lil while back. I can't find them all right now, but a couple to start!

How do you build a sense of self-worth?

How do you develop an internal and relatively stable sense of self-worth? I seem to walk around with a sense of worthlessness that is activated whenever don’t do as well as I’d like to. Be it grades, art, work, relationships. I can’t keep basing my worth on external ‘things’. It’s gradually...

www.myptsd.com

How do you build/find self worth?

How do you build self worth? How do you find self worth? The only thing I can think of is finding the worth of my inner child and then figuring out how do do the “she IS me” thing without believing that all those wonderful traits were lost along the way. Please help. :hug:

www.myptsd.com

(In response to not knowing what's worthwhile about you, or not valuing anything about yourself ). vvvvvvvvvv

Noticing what you admire in others, and bring more of that into your own life // both in practicing what you want to learn to be, as well as associating with others who exhibit traits you place a high value in)... or yourself... but I was mostly speaking about looking at what you value in life in general / as a whole. Rather than just one facet.

For example, if you value nature, or academics, or museums, or physical prowess, or spontaneity? You think those are profoundly worthwhile things / traits / endeavors? But don’t spend time outside, or learning, or in the Arts, or using your own body (or watching others use theirs, Hey sports fans! It’s a thing, or so I’m told ;)), or acting on a whim/in the moment ? “Here’s something I view as important,.. that I do nothing about, that is not in my life, that moreover is indistinguishable from the things I don’t care about, or even despise.” will wear away at most people’s self worth over time.

Putting time and energy, word and deed, into the things one values? Into what’s meaningful to them? Actively pursuing, being a part of what one values... Builds a person up. Puts your money where your mouth is

________ is really important to me.
I really value __________.

Oh yeah? Prove it :sneaky:

That’s the fun part.

The hard part is usually determining what one actually values.

And not being put off by seemingly inconsistent or opposite mores. Like being a person who both demands rigorous honesty and delights in mischevious lies? Might seem impossible, but Scientist by day, community theatre by night, voila. Or a thousand other variations.

Becoming the person one wants to be, determining the content of your own character? To misquote a bit... some are born with it, or have it thrust upon them, whilst others achieve it. One may not have always been this way, or stumbled into it by accident/handed it on a silver platter, but one can decide to become it.

Decide what you value, bring it into your life. On every level. Seek it out.

 

[Freddyt]

Tell yourself you can do hard things.

Yup.
My mini notebooks. Full of things I know about myself. Simple statements. All positive. All "I can" and "I am". And read them. Half a dozen times a day, or more. Plus - never be negative. Be like Edison. On his 1001st try to make an electric light bulb - he didn't say he failed 100 times, he said "I am 1000 items closer to finding what works".

Like an eminent sports psychologist said "being good at something starts with convincing yourself you are good at it first". So, until you are, believe and be positive - constantly.