How Do You Find The Words For Difficult Topics?

[Tinyflame]

Dear @Tanishq thank you. :notworthy: :shy: :hug: :hug:

I feel the same about you both. :) How lucky I am. :inlove:

 

[shell]

But something occurred to me, work is paid. I (no one) in their right mind should put themselves where they are not welcome, nor can't even be themself, or being themself is a negative. And it is the opposite of a feeling of 'home' or being at home.

How foolish of me. No wonder words don't come.

I can relate to this feeling, especially at work, while I feel like I don't belong, or I can't be myself (who ever that is??) I think sometimes I project my parents beliefs, which have now become my beliefs onto to others in this situation.

I find myself very stilted, unsure when it comes to certain situations, it is as if I believe I don't belong, I feel lost for words at participating in congratulating someone, or empathizing with someone, or even sharing something. I feel like whatever I have to offer won't be right, or will offend, or that I no-one wants to hear what I have to say anyway. I feel like I don't don't know the rules on how to socialize, and then I over think things so when I finally work up the courage to verbalize what I was thinking, anxiety muddles my head and it doesn't come out the way I wanted it to.

Are we really not welcome, unacceptable and therefore can't be ourselves or is it just the message we tell ourselves?

 

[Tinyflame]

Are we really not welcome, unacceptable and therefore can't be ourselves or is it just the message we tell ourselves?

Yes well @shell, can't say I was in the best head space when I wrote that. :confused: Yes, the end result, or at least how we may feel & respond, becomes the same whether it is founded or not. Likely very true it is either the message, or mistrust, or fear, more than the reality it seems or 'feels' like.

I guess too it's hard to believe if the opposite has not been our experience, too.

Hugs to you, hope you are well? :hug:

PS, I'm sorry you've gone through what you have, to relate so well. :(

Perhaps we should just throw caution to the wind. :) :hug:

 

[Tanishq]

Hello @Junebug,

being able to see through others eyes/ feelings/ needs.

I am glad you realized this. Now this will help you to see this world through your own eyes and you will be feeling proud of yourself.

I am thinking, it must be this thing, forced to look through others eyes, has stopped or hold you back many times. You are making real progress my dear friend. So happy to read this.

sometimes I feel like a horse ready to bolt, over the fence & out the pasture.

I have to say I do feel like this.

I can't tell you how much long time it will take, but what you are learning and understanding, it will take some time to apply it in your own life. You are going to make there. Hang in there.

We are behind you as always. :)

Thanks Junebug for teaching not to read everything all at once, I am reading one post at a time and try to think and respond it. It has helped me so much. :)

Hope you are well there and many gentle hugs to you. Why? Weekend is arrived. hehe.
:hug: :hug: :hug:

 

[Tanishq]

@rainy_daze You are giving much big support here. Whoah! :)

:hug: A Gentle Hug to you as well.

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear @Tanishq , :hug: ! Nice to 'see' you! :hug: :hug: :hug: :)

Yes, well, I am trying, I'm not sure if I would ever get to the point to be able to see through others' eyes as regards of myself, but in another way, if you trust +/or respect someone you have to give them credit to listen to them.. so it's kind of a catch-22, hard to believe or see it that way but kind of insulting (to them) or minimizing to not listen, at all. :confused:

I don't think I'd ever be 'proud' of myself but that's ok. I guess my standards have lowered lol. :p

Yes you & @rainy_daze & others have been so very very kind! :notworthy:

I had been just thinking, with ptsd vs not having it especially, I don't think we expect such a thing (is possible). :wideeyed: ! :confused: Just as we don't expect things to work out or a 'just world theory' or safety or a virtually limitless number of other things we don't realize we mostly seem to have in common here as beliefs or experiences, different from people without ptsd (not that it has to be ptsd-related, specifically, also trauma, loss, danger, violence, etc etc.)

((((((((((((Dear tanishq))))))))))))))), ((((((((((Dear Rainy_daze))))))))))))))) :hug: :hug: :hug: .

 

[Tinyflame]

I was thinking too, I don't want to 'not' hear positive or hopeful things (provided they are true), just because I 'fall apart' or subconsciously even try to destroy myself vs accepting they are true. Because living that way is like being over-medicated - everything being 'neutral', or completely accepting but without any hope whatsoever (which I have probably lived like for many many many years).

 

[Tinyflame]

Gee, I unearthed this old thread of mine from the depths because the title was appropriate, but I find it kind of shocking I wrote what I last did above. Though true but I hadn't thought of that lately. I think I do a bit better now with that than before.

This is very hard to write. I don't easily bring up things for others, because I'm afraid to hurt them. I don't bring up things for myself for maybe the same reason. I guess I wouldn't bring up much of anything like that left to my own devices. Also though I was thinking, words have their place when it comes to trauma, it's nice to be able to be honest, or 'blurt out' without being treated badly or fearing consequences. But maybe too it's important in the actions towards ourselves to just kind of try to introduce positive/ gentle things. Kind of 'no words' about trauma or struggles. But the ability to say something if you had to without fear being kind of the ideal. And yet, one 'has' to think of it to say it, or acknowledge it, or ask for help, obviously. Hard to know what is best.

 

[Recovery4Me]

((((((hugs))))) Congrats!!!!:):tup::hug:

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear @Recovery4Me ,thank you, but not sure what for (congrats)? :confused:

I am 'vaping' however. :hug: :hug: :hug: Hope you are well! Xox. :inlove:

 

[Tinyflame]

Oh, yikes, I am sorry, for doing better at accepting positive words. :rolleyes: !

:hug: :hug: :hug:

 

[Recovery4Me]

Wow! You are the woman with the vaping!!!

Oh!:whistling: The congrats is because you opened a thread not too long ago and really expressed yourself. So I was pretty impressed with your authenticity, passion and getting past writers block.