How do you identify/ define "dissociation" and how do you identify/ define "grounded"

[Sideways]

when I was a kid, but when I get super triggered I can speak like a little girl and have access to those memories

Right. Sometimes, having parts that take over function can be a sign of dissociation.

But having, and engaging with different parts of ourselves? Isn’t an inherently dissociative, or even abnormal thing. Sometimes it is. But for most normies, it’s just a part of how they consciously, mindfully optimise their function in different situations.

When you’re a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail!

And here’s the thing - dissociative disorders? Aren’t the only mental illness where different parts of ourselves can become a dysfunctional part of our pathology. People with Borderline Personality Disorder? Commonly switch between parts of their personality, in an often dysfunctional way, which has absolutely nothing to do withh dissociation.

Having parts? Engaging with parts? Isn’t necessarily a dissociative phenomenon. Sometimes it is, for some of us. But often? It’s just the way the human brain functions.

 

[Sideways]

And the brain pretending it's not one, but several parts, that's technically dissociation too, I think?

Here’s an example that might help flesh this out a bit:

Regular, mentally stable person decides to go see a movie to kill some time. They look through the list of what’s showing, and decide they’re going to treat their inner child and go see the Lego movie, because they used to love playing with Lego as a kid, and kinda still do. They buy a jumbo popcorn, and sit there laughing and having a merry ol’ time.

The inner child part of them that decided to see the Lego movie instead of the gripping adult thriller they’d usually see? Totally normal. Totally healthy. Totally grounded. They consciously engaged with that part of themselves and enjoyed every second.

The next day they go to work, inner child gets tucked away, and they engage with the professional part of their personality, which includes entirely different priorities, values, dress code, likes/dislikes, behaviour, speech to the child part that they engaged with at the movies.

Perfectly normal and functional, and not the least bit dissociative. So, parts can be a dissociative experience. But they can also be an incredibly healthy way to function in life.

 

[frogthroat]

Are parts proven scientifically? I'm just curious.

 

[shimmerz]

I believe it is a theory.

 

[ILoveLife]

But isn't parts by definition a "dissociative disorder" ?

Everything falls on a spectrum.
Just like being sad is not depression, having parts does not constitute a dissociative disorder.
Or being elated is not mania.
Or having weird beliefs is not psychosis.
Obsessions not OCD.
Ruminations about traumas not PTSD...
Or ... or... or..

Parts can be healthy, like @Sideways said, or pathological, and everything in between. Most of us fall in the "in between category".

 

[frogthroat]

Parts can be healthy, like @Sideways said, or pathological, and everything in between. Most of us fall in the "in between category".

I have always thought that something becomes a condition when it interferes with functioning significantly. That's just my opinion so don't roast me. Idk anybody on here personally. I think we live in a day and age where people are diagnosing themselves or are freaking out and getting misdiagnosed. If you're traumatized you're going to have issues. Some people need more help. That's okay but I don't think worrying about every thought or action is going to help anyone. Not everything you do is related to being traumatized. That's freeing in itself, isn't it?

 

[ILoveLife]

I have always thought that something becomes a condition when it interferes with functioning significantly.

This is what my T and pdoc hammer me all the time :roflmao:

That's freeing in itself, isn't it?

It is :)

 

[Stephani8o]

Just cos it feels nice/ comfortable, doesn't mean it's not dissociation.
There's lots of pleasant forms of dissociation that can be quite tempting.

This is how I view dissociation. It mainly happens in therapy when I feel totally overwhelmed and it feels so much better than the emotions I don't want to feel about my childhood. We eventually find a way through or around it but sometimes I get frustrated. So for me it's nice but doesn't really affect me day to day.

 

[MrMoonlight]

I worry that I let myself disassociate, be it a frozen state or minimally in the here and now but entering the void I think prevents me from processing what I need to be processing. I'm getting down on myself for allowing it.
I had an emdr session a few days ago and I'm hiding there probably too much. I just check-out, i don't know sometimes it feels like I'm floating between the two.

 

[talon]

Hi all,

I'm trying to reduce the amount of time I spend dissociated and am looking at good grounding techniques.

I'm wondering tho, how do you guys "tell" when you are dissociated and how do you "tell" you are grounded?

So obvious dissociation signs for me are feeling numb, feeling spacy, not feeling my body, feeling empty, feeling like my head is full of static.

Signs I'm grounded are deep relaxation, inner peace, not feeling anxious, pleasant clarity in my head.

How do you notice either of those states? Any tell-tale signs?

All ideas/ tips welcome! :)

Dissociation can be defined as disruptions in aspects of consciousness, identity, memory, physical actions and/or the environment. When a person experiences severe dissociation symptoms, they may be diagnosed with a dissociative disorder.

 

[Starfire]

Hi all,

I'm trying to reduce the amount of time I spend dissociated and am looking at good grounding techniques......

Being grounded for us is not necessarily being relaxed etc. It's more being in the present & functioning in the present. Depending on degree, could be just recognizing the room I'm in....the furniture, my personal items. Or simply my feet on the ground or on my present day carpeting. Also doing an activity. I've cleaned out a junk drawer, sorted & shredded mail, hand washed & wiped dishes, bathed my dog. Anything & to the degree I could to remain in the here & now.

 

[grit]

I am with @Abstract to a point but lately, I find by deeply listening to the body and pinpointing a) where the pain is b) naming the feeling c) naming the trigger is doing wonders.

for example, I was in a group and we were talking and this woman was like ADHD sort of. Anyhow, I was triggered and had dissociation coming in but I actually said in my head, I am angry at this woman because she is taking so much space and I could feel my body relax.

I was little shocked that hopefully I did not say it out loud.

I am touching the point in the body that the emotion is originating from and naming it exactly what it is and not what it should do (which is my great strength). Like I do not say I am feeling protected/safe anymore. I would say I feel fear right here in my bellybutton. the real feeling not the reaction to the feeling.

Not sure this helps at all but it is working for me and is really quite extreme antidote to spacing out