How Do You Overcome The Impulses?

[Monarch]

what helps me is to know that feelings do change, I might feel suicidal but those feelings do change, I might feel happy or sad, glad or mad....ALL feelings change. Just gotta wait it out.

 

[PTSDT]

Thank you for sharing what your therapist said about checking your gut to figure out whether it is an old reaction to the trauma trying to come out during a current non-threatening situation. The feelings feel so real for the moment that it is very difficult to decipher whether I should be reacting to something going on now because it does feel like it has everything to do with now...Or if it is an old feeling/impulse trying to take over.

 

[Jade-]

I will continue one step at a time till I find my way out. Our scales tip so easily and too keep level takes so much hard work.

All we can do is continue one step at a time. And it is so much hard work.

Is there any rhyme or reason to it? I feel like there has to be something more to it than just random suicidal thinking and impulses. I was doing good, I thought, then out of the blue I started to spiral down again.

 

[Deleted member 5760]

I had an incident last week where it got on top of me like it never had before. Without prompting I made a list called 'Things I did Wrong' which was about that specific day. It's now stuck to my fridge. Quite literally. And the first thing on it reads :
1) I got DRUNK - never again.

I learned you never touch alcohol if you are feeling suicidal because it lowers inhibitions. And having inhibitions comes in VERY handy when you're not thinking rationally.

 

[Iam]

SuperJen said
I learned you never touch alcohol if you are feeling suicidal because it lowers inhibitions. And having inhibitions comes in VERY handy when you're not thinking rationally.

Oh how right you are Jen. That's exactly why I had to check myself into the hospital. The alcohol removed all my inhibitions about suicide. Thank God I was with it enough to realize it at the time! Funny, I rarely drink and it is my rule not to drink at all when I am depressed. It's a good rule that I'll not break again!

 

[jesse]

Hey Iam hope you are feeling a little better this week. BTW what is your horse's name? Is she a quarter horse? Hard to tell from the headshot. I miss my horses they are out west with my ex. He takes really good care of them and they are very happy out there with a big ranch to run on. I still miss them though.

 

[Iam]

Awww, I bet you miss them Jesse. Pine is a quarter horse. I also have a 1/2 quarter 1/2 thoroughbred and a shetland pony. They're worth more than any therapy! LOL! Where do you live now?

 

[jesse]

Pennsylvania (northeastern) this is where my family is from for many generations but it is very rural and isolated. I want to move but haven't decided where. I loved the west (Montana) but it's impossible to make a living out there.
Pine is a good name. My horses names are Blue and Spud both paints and I have a mule named Harvey. I go out there once a year to visit. My ex and I are great friends and we go on pack trips into the mountains together when we can. Very fun but also dangerous sometimes (grizzly bears etc) but afterwards that stuff makes it even more enjoyable. Kind of twisted I guess but that's me :)

 

[Iam]

Love the names ;o) I've always wanted to pack in Montana. It's great that you and your ex are good friends. t'hat doesn't happen all that often. I'm with you, things like grizzlies and cougars make it fun. Had a run in with a cougar on our property when we first moved here, NW Oregon, 9 yrs ago.

My buckskin is named Champ and the pony (for our granddaughters) is Tinkerbell. We have 7 pygmies (one is due to kid any day), 2 dogs and 3 cats (one was dropped here earlier this year and we ended up keeping her.) My hubby has been looking online and german shepards, but I've said no not until one of our other dogs pass. Never thought I'd get to the point I'd say no more animals LOL!

 

[PTSDT]

Jadebear, I also get very frustrated by not having any "rhyme or reason" also. I think way too hard trying to figure out why I'm having a meltdown and then why I'm not. Homework is all day and half the night for me. I read something about this being called emotional flashbacks. To me, it feels just like a flashback and negative or fearful feelings without any thought attached to them. I am fine and then I'm not. It is so frustrating. I want to be better and I don't like my brain doing what it wants.

 

[Deleted member 5760]

When it comes to 'worry' my T suggested I assign a certain amount of time each day to literally write out a 'worry list'. 10 minutes for me. After that I'm not allowed to add to it. Anything that comes up must be put on the list the next day and until then 'too busy, sorry', so to speak.

This helps to identify what is on your mind in the form of worrying thoughts without overthinking and overanalysing. Most importantly, to help with not assigning too much time to analysing what you are worrying about (that's a worry in itself).

 

[Tessa]

Hi Iam,
Just dropping in to let you know I am thinking of you and glad you seem a bit brighter today. My prayers are with you.