Once you start enjoying yourself, and feeling good after having exercised, or getting compliments from others, you stop giving a f*ck *as much as you used to* about other people watching.On the days when you win do you have these difficult feelings still? Or any troubles with the exercise triggering reactions or anything like that? Or is it all a problem of getting yourself to do it then you're fine once you start?
Not wanting to feel the body makes sense for trauma. I know I don't like to be seen, particularly when dancing - can't say as I do much other exercise though apart from walking and that feels a very normal activity, not putting myself on show at all.