How Do You Stay Present In Therapy?

[Jade-]

The last 3 sessions I have gone to I start out good but then I am totally zoned out within half an hour. I have a hard time even remembering what was said and I have a hard time staying awake. I feel like I'm wasting my time and money.

I've tried moving my feet, fanning myself, changing positions in my seat, but none of it seems to work. I really want to stay present mentally during my sessions but I don't know how. Any suggestions? What do you do?

 

[TLight]

Good luck with that one. My only reply is: "I don't." Staying present or even coming close to thinking about my trauma (whatever it was?) throws me totally off the charts.

Not sure if I'll ever overcome that. Likely I'll just cope.

Don't push yourself and just do the best you can is my advice. If it is too much....insist on backing off the subject.

 

[Jade-]

Thanks, but I feel like I want to push myself at this point, I want to move forward yet my body and mind are betraying me for some reason.

 

[curiouser]

I could be way off base, so if I am, just ignore my ramblings. I don't think it's betrayal of your mind and body, but more of a form a loving protection. You've experienced awful and painful things and going back into those memories and experiences, even if it's just through the mind can feel as real as if it's happening all over again. Think of it like getting a burn, you stick your hand on something extremely hot and get burned, it's not likely something you want to do again because you remember the experience and the outcome of the first time you did it and how it ended with you getting hurt.

Having PTSD can create a lot of feelings of fear, mistrust, and feelings of being unsafe. You could try reminding yourself that re-experiencing it now will be different than the first time, and that it's possible to create a different outcome from re-experiencing it than the bad outcome that followed the first time. Remind yourself that it's ok and safe to deal with what happened now, and it's ok and safe to heal from what happened now, you are worthy of healing and deserve it.

If you think about the safe to deal/heal and the worthy of healing statements and they bother you (you experience any bad emotional or physical reaction), pay close attention as to why. You could try saying the statements out loud and see if any negative thinking/self talk/fear comes up. If it does, you may have some limiting beliefs or thoughts or fears about yourself or healing, that could be holding you back and causing resistance to you being able to deal with your emotions and memories or being able to heal. If you happen to find any, which usually is common, there are ways of changing them to be positive and help to move you towards your goal of healing.

Consciously you want to be able to deal with things, heal, and move on, but your sub conscious mind can be thinking very differently.

 

[Jade-]

So what you're saying is I have no control over this?

 

[curiouser]

I'm saying on a conscious level you want to deal with your problems, on a sub conscious level your mind is operating and viewing things differently. Consciously you see therapy as a positive thing, it's helpful, however sub consciously your mind may be viewing therapy differently (my guess is it sees therapy as a potential threat and the shut down reaction you're having as a form of protection-there may also be other relating issues surrounding your trauma). However for whatever underlining reason, I think the sub conscious is causing the shut down response you're experiencing in therapy. Does this mean it's something you have no control over because it's a sub conscious reaction? No, if you can figure out the underling issue for the shut down reaction and deal with it, the sub conscious would no longer recognize a need for the shut down response, and the result should be no more shut down in therapy. (In theory)

 

[Jade-]

Thanks,that makes sense. I just want to figure out what's going on because I don't want to waste money by sitting in sessions zoned out and not talking.

 

[Jade-]

There has to be a way to not zone out. Any suggestions?

 

[Lucycat]

Hi Jadebear.

My therapist checks throughout the session that I am present. He keeps 'grounding' me if he is in doubt.

Do you actually tell your therapist that you are having difficulty with this? I feel it is their responsibility also, to ensure you are getting the most from your sessions.
This is not something you should have to worry about. Zoning out is just one of the symptoms of PTSD, it will happen but if the focus of your therapy for you is just this I can understand your frustration. I feel I have been able to pass the responsibility over to my therapist, and can spend my time worrying about things I need to worry about!

I hope this makes sense to you.

Good Luck, Lucycat x

 

[kers]

I am able to stay more present in therapy now than I once was, mostly because it became the subject of many, many sessions. I try to connect with my therapist whenever I realize I am checked out. In the beginning, I couldn't connect until after I checked out. I'd 'wake up' and be able to talk. We'd help me articulate what happened, and we'd talk about why I might have checked out. Now, I can often reach out with my words and say, "I'm checking out" and we discuss my physical sensations and identify the feeling behind the dissociation. Usually that does the trick and grounds me again. I still space out plenty, but learning to talk through it and stay connected to my therapist means that it feels like I am still getting some really good work done.

Checking out is not a failure, even though I know it feels like it. Learning how to work through it, for me, has been a huge part of processing the trauma and its effects.

 

[canucklady]

Jadebear, I feel the exact same way. My T sometimes notices (not sure how) and asks me to stay with her. It is frustrating, but for now we are working on what causes me to dissociate. Small baby steps. I know now if I push myself too much, then will shut down for alot longer. So be patient and work with your T to figure out a way to slowly stay present longer

 

[Tija]

A Simple Observation Exercise To Increase Tolerance to Stress and Live in the Present Moment

Hello,Jadebear.. I've found something that works in helping me to live in the present moment.
Maybe, you will find it useful, too.

I found this meditation about 4 weeks ago... At first, I only did it 1x a day, because I was doubtful it would work ! I'd tried quite a lot of meditations before, so.. Most of them had been moderately helpful, so when I heard about this one, I really didn't think that this very little, simple and dinky exercise would do anything. But, I was surprised..really really surprised. I'm not even sure why it works the way it does, but it's been powerful enough to cause some very positive changes in me. I wish I had come by it earlier.. much earlier!

It was after practicing the exercise 1x a day for about 2 weeks that I started to see very small, but positive changes and shifts. They were in regards to achieving self-control over my thinking and feeling. I lost that many years ago. After seeing these small but amazing changes, I was encouraged and determined to set aside more time to do it. For the last 2 weeks I've been making sure I do it at least 2x a day, for about 10 minutes each time (even 5 minutes is good). The results have been cumulative. I'm finding that I am regaining back my ability to live in the present moment, and peace of mind is returning. I cannot believe it, still.. It's certainly been a long long time since I've felt this way. I mean, before, I was always either still fighting impatience and resentment feelings (over past circumstances/ people who have hurt me), or worrying and being afraid of the future. Not only does it help me to stay in the present moment, but this meditation also helps me to recognize when I am daydreaming or dissociating. Once I do, I am able to pull out of it in seconds.

My hope in doing this meditation is that I will gain even more ground in my recovery. This, along with my homeopath doctor.

If you would like to try the mediation, it's free download at: fhu.com/meditation-download.html

The author of this meditation also has a book (or e-book) that goes with this meditation. It is
called "How Your Mind Can Keep You Well". You can read it on- line for free, even. I did read
it, and personally, gained benefit and insight.


As for the meditation, here is the exercise in written form!

'The concept and practice of this exercise are both simple. The entire object is simply to observe what is going on in the mind, without being drawn down into worry and daydreaming. By doing so, we are given a break from the stress of worrying and rehashing the past; at the same time, the mind is allowed to regenerate. By making a conscious effort to remain aware of your hand, this awareness acts as an anchor that grounds us in the present, and helps keep us from floating off “downstream” into daydreams and worries, that often preoccupy and wear us down.

Sit in a comfortable chair and loosen your collar or any tight-fitting garment (it is a good idea to remove your shoes). Hold this reading material in your left hand and drop you right hand on your lap or by your side. Now bring your attention to your right hand. Just be aware, conscious that it exists, lying there on your lap or hanging by your side. There is no need to look directly at your hand while reading these words. Just be aware out of the corner of your eye. Keep reading. Any time you become aware of any part of your body, you awaken a gentle flow of energy. In this instance, your hand will begin to tingle and then begin to feel warm. Notice any thought that interferes with your being aware of your hand by trying to distract you—to absorb you into a daydream or worry.

If a thought does draw your attention away from being aware of your hand, don’t be upset. Simply re-direct your attention to your hand; become aware of it so that you feel it glow warm. Watch the thought until it dissolves. To help you remain aware like this, it is helpful if you shift your attention from one finger to another. First be aware of the thumb, then shift the feeling to your first finger, now the second—be aware—the third, and now the little finger. Then begin again. Soon you will feel energy flowing down your arm into your hand, and before long your whole body may begin to share in the warmth.

Once you have the understanding of what these words are explaining, you will be able to promote this warmth just by remembering these simple instructions. What is happening? You are getting in touch with your mind and body. In the past, being upset has cut you off from your own motivation and will. You are now becoming OBJECTIVE. Watch your thoughts passing through your mind and notice how, when you just observe, they fade and lose their power to hold your attention captive. As that happens, your body fills with warmth. Continue being aware of your hand/body glowing warm. If a thought pulls you into a daydream or worry, simply pull back and observe that thought while being aware of your hand/body glowing warm.

Notice now the objects in your surroundings. See if you can put a distance between yourself and objects close to you. See if you can detach yourself. It will feel like the object seems far away, as though you are observing from another space…notice your body glowing warm. Memories now begin to surface…first come distractions, then memories. Observe them without being upset over what you are realizing, and the problems of your past will lose their hold, no longer affecting you in the future.Use this warm energy flowing to every part of your being to be patient, not resentful, with people from now on.Patience will preserve this “together” feeling of warmth and confidence and give you a natural control without effort or will.

Watch for opportunities from day to day to be patient and outspoken. This is very important. If someone has wronged you, don’t be resentful, but speak up calmly or say nothing and just wait for an appropriate moment when you can. This simple practice is the key to being calm and giving up resentment from now on. It is also the key to self-control and patience.'


Peace, and all the best. :smile: Tija