How does transference affect your sessions?

[UnicornSightings]

When you're there, in session, thoughts running wild about how you think your t is judging you, hating you, wishing you would just stop showing up, how do you deal? What makes it easier? How do you grow in these moments? Really trying to make this work...

 

[Deleted member 42665]

i constantly test him. ask him things, tell him things and gage his reaction to it, usually he is very comforting and kind so its easy to just let those thoughts go

 

[kilted]

Just talk about it, tell your therapist what you are thinking...... because what you are thinking is likely a fantasy, rooted in the past. A good therapist will be able to help you work out what is triggering these fantasies, and therefore see them for what they are.... fantasies. Over time, realising they are fantasies will leave a space.... and into that space you can put some reality... a reality built from trusting your therapist is telling you what they feel and think.

Transference happens when you do not trust your intuition enough in the present, so you rely on past messages lurking in your subconscious. This means the way around transference is time and through time, trust.

 

[Mach123]

It's over 2 years later. All that stuff is over (I hope) I trust her. She took everything I threw at her. She never even flinched. I forgot this but she took my insurance so I could see her, she did all the paperwork herself and she gets paid about 1/3 of what she normally would to see me. I owed her (office) almost 200 dollars for the longest time because she saw me while she was still out of network. I paid her and I didn't mind at all. I paid a little each week and now it's all paid off. I guess when I did that and it was because I wanted to that was one of the signs things were really different. She never mentioned any of this. She just took care of me. I have been really lucky. I used to get mad at her it seems funny now. I did lots of that myself I set up traps for her and then I'd be mad that she did whatever but I was the one doing it. IDK. I don't have to test her anymore. I know I put her on a pedestal but it was weird this time because there were so many things I didn't ask her. I never pushed her about her private life I left her alone, I never did that before. I wanted her to have all the power she needed to help me. I put her on a pedestal. She earned my trust though. I really believe in the whole process now. I really think therapy is very effective and can work real changes. You have to find the right one though.

 

[Deleted member 35429]

We spend most sessions discussing transference. I can't get very far without it coming back. 99% of the time that's what we discuss. It's incredibly frustrating.

 

[Teamwork]

I had to look this definition up because don't really understand it. The only thing t has ever said that may be transference is that someone looks at...[/QUOTE]