How Much Advice Does Your Therapist Give?

[Leah123]

Thanks to those who shared their experience with advice/opinion giving!

 

[anthony]

I keep getting stirred up about my therapist's handling this

Your therapist gave their opinion... they aren't handling anything -- you are. You seem to be self-imploding about your therapists opinion v what you deem correct as the parent. Nobody has all the right answers. Your therapist isn't a font of all things earthly... so unsure why you aren't just taking their opinions as such.

 

[Leah123]

Your therapist gave their opinion... they aren't handling anything -- you are. You seem to be self-implodin...

Thanks much, yes, that is an issue- it's getting me irrationally stirred up and I'm trying to keep my head above water in a sense. I know there's strong maternal transference, I know I put a great deal of stock into her personally, and then there's factor X, I suppose. I'm feeling really off kilter in general, so it might be cumulative and this was the little gust of wind to knock me off my nest of calm. I'm hoping that time, a little time, will tell.

Now that I think of it, she may've brought up my worst fear as well- of losing my daughter. My mother lost me because she was mentally ill and she disbelieved me and made my life pretty hellish when I told her my father had abused me. She was a scary, untrustworthy, unbalanced person, still is, but I steer clear now. Maybe my therapist's pronouncement stirred up that nightmare scenario.

But I didn't abuse my daughter or deny her reality- I just said no to a cupcake, and it's an entirely different case.

Thank you Anthony, that helped me see something that might be upsetting me more than this whole thing would seem to warrant.

 

[anthony]

she may've brought up my worst fear as well- of losing my daughter

Do you consider yourself a good mother?

But I didn't abuse my daughter or deny her reality- I just said no to a cupcake, and it's an entirely different case.

You said it, not me. Well done.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

Not a damned bit. They just sit there, scribbling on a pad, while I rehash the same life story over and over.

 

[GWhizz]

yes a therapist should have unconditional positive regard and empathy but it makes me question as to when...

I don't think I ever said parenting skills.. I actually am a child and family health nurse so I know the basic skills.. It's about being a good enough parent in contrast to my own childhood so that's totally relevant to therapy and sometimes I need an outside professional perspective whether their opinion is to back me up or call me out. And yes it is my T who has brought up the issue of personal feelings of guilt. Sorry totally didn't intend to threadjack