How To Deal With Easily Triggered Into The Feeling That I Don't Deserve To Live?

[AnD]

Breaking down that barrier can be hard. Having you tried finding some place where people that like thin...

it is your depression, deal with that and get some traction

I have friends, both new and old that I spend time with. And I am in a writers group to share my writing. But I feel disconnected to them, even people that might be funny and nice. I just wish I could open up and connect without this pain. But perhaps I need to heal more before I am able to do that, like you said, The Albatross. Perhaps it has been a misconception of mine, that it is impossible for me to belong. I have this feeling that there is something deeply wrong with me and that I can only fake humanity. That feeling has been shrinking the more I heal, but it is still present.

So maybe I need to have more patience...

Thanks, all for helping out and listening. It hasn't been easy writing here, even though everyone is nice.