How To Get Away From Unsafe Person?

[peacelovemusic]

I don't know if this is the right forum to post this in, but seemed right to me.

I met up with an old friend yesterday. We were best friends in elementary school, from 1st grade until I moved away in middle school. We had not seen each other in 22 years!
First of all, it was super uncomfortable because she remembered a whole lot more than I did. I have these huge gaping holes in my memory and she had details that made it really obvious that the things she described really happened, but I couldn't remember. So instead of coming across like a jerk, I just smiled and played along like I remembered it.

BUT - MORE IMPORTANTLY - She has some stuff going on with her that makes her feel like a very, very unsafe person to me. I am not going to go into detail, because much of what she has going on is due to mental illness and I don't want to alienate anyone or come across as a jerk. But suffice to say, this is not a safe person for me. I am okay with a facebook friendship. I am not okay with a real life friendship.

Except she keeps texting me this morning and wants to hang out and I am so not okay with this and I do not know how to deal with it. I have no skills to keep myself safe. HOW do I deal with this? WHAT do I say?

 

[Jen93]

Tell her that you have to care for yourself, and that it means not keeping in contact with her. Encourage her to get help and tell her that you hope she feels better soon?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Try to fade her out of your life, do not respond to texts right away and become unavailable. These options do work for me. Since you have not seen each other in so long there is really no relationship and since you have determined that she is not a safe person, and you want it to go no further be unavailable.

I would not tell her that she needs to get help, try to detach from her hidden agenda and become neutral and distant. Be very busy and not available and see if your therapist can advise you better because these tactics only buy you some time. I hope this helps and if not just toss it okay?

 

[Silver.]

I had something all written out, then @gizmo posted and I rather like that answer better
(btw mine was just something along the lines of texting saying you are not in a position to be hanging out right now)
but as is evident, this girl is toxic for you, so phasing her out seems a better route

 

[Casey_03]

I think it might be a good idea to just make up a vague excuse and say you're unavailable for a while. I fear that if you are honest with her and tell her you need to put yourself first it might escalate things and cause more drama, especially if she is experiencing some mental health issues.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Im with @gizmo, my family is unsafe and so I had to isolate from them. I stop answering text, i changed my email but before i changed my email i just never answered them, i didnt answer calls (i did and still do monitor calls) and eventually, usually sooner than later, they get the point.

If this person is safe in one way, like you said facebook, but not in person then dont let them over, dont meet up, always advise that you have other obligations a certian day etc.

You decide whom is safe and whom isnt and you have that right.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I would just ignore all of their attempts to contact you. Eventually they will get the hint!