How to get rid of triggers completely?

[Hedgehog]

Hey - first post here!

I don’t have a ptsd diagnosis but have some old trauma with ‘triggers’ so it is still intruding into my present life quite often.

I’m learning slowly to be able to cope with it better in the moment when a trigger happens, e.g. grounding myself, breathing, trying to relax physically etc. Recently I’ve noticed I’m less likely to zone out / get dizzy and spaced out / feel faint etc, and can stay more present. I don’t want to avoid triggers because I want / need to function and be able to get through those situations to go about daily life.

I feel like I can do the rational / logical bit - when a trigger happens I know logically that right now I’m actually safe, there isn’t a current danger, I can usually work out what the link is to the old traumatic memories. And now I’m getting better at the coping skills to calm myself down as well.

But can I go beyond that? I really want to not feel that intense fear / not have the intrusive memories and flashbacks in the first place. It’s so disruptive to be plunged into that fearful state, and feeling like I’m suddenly in two places / two timelines simultaneously. I know a lot of the things that tend to trigger me although I still find new ones sometimes that I haven’t encountered before. So how exactly can I go about disconnecting all those things from the trauma memories and stop reacting like I’m in danger? Is it possible to recover fully or is just Coping the best I’m going to get? I’m just not happy to think this might be as good as it gets....

Do I need to “process” the memories themselves, and if so what does that actually mean? In therapy I’ve talked about triggers and how I feel and how I cope but barely said anything at all about the memories that are evoked at those times. And how will I know if I’m processing a memory vs. just recounting an event? There are a few specific memories that have multiple triggers attached to them and seem to come up most often, as well as some less complicated ones. All associated with an abusive relationship I had as a young teenager.

Or should I just keep talking about triggers and focus on the present?

Thanks for any advice.

 

[blackemerald1]

In therapy I’ve talked about triggers and how I feel and how I cope but barely said anything at all about the memories that are evoked at those times.

Have you asked your therapist about the triggers and why they may still be so predominant? If the memories are trauma and you are still being triggered by them then maybe you also ought to have a conversation about whether or not it is appropriate to start exploring the actual traumatic events, or not?

And how will I know if I’m processing a memory vs. just recounting an event

You will know if you have 'processed' the traumatic memory if your symptoms abate.

Really you should ask your therapist all about this. There may be good reasons why it isn't appropriate to haul up those traumatic incidents and examine them. Idk.. but you and your therapist will.

Best of luck,

 

[EveHarrington]

But can I go beyond that?

Yes, you can improve your situation with triggers. You may be able to eliminate some/all of them.

So how exactly can I go about disconnecting all those things from the trauma memories and stop reacting like I’m in danger?

Processing your memories will help. ie EMDR, exposure therapy, etc.

Is it possible to recover fully or is just Coping the best I’m going to get?

Yes, it is possible to recover fully. It’s also possible that you may have triggers that linger for quite some time.

Do I need to “process” the memories themselves, and if so what does that actually mean?

Yes, I advise processing your memories. This means that essentially you’re retraining your brain to accept that the past trauma is in the past so that you can reduce/eliminate the reliving aspects.

And how will I know if I’m processing a memory vs. just recounting an event?

You’ll know because symptoms will decrease.

Or should I just keep talking about triggers and focus on the present?

I wouldn’t stick with just doing this as it doesn’t help your mind move forward, at least in my experience.

 

[Reneprays]

I am so sorry you have had such intense trauma. As others suggest, I would definitely take all your questions to your therapist.
You have taken great steps at working through the process but there is healing beyond that.
I have known many to find full healing through therapy and walking in authority over those triggers. I pray in Jesus name every trigger to go! I pray for a new peace like never before to cover in miraculous ways.
Not to be crazy if you don't agree, but just to cover you in the only way I know how when all else fails. My relationship with God and prayer was my only Life-saving transformation that was lasting.

 

[HealingInProcess]

I am so sorry you have had such intense trauma. As others suggest, I would definitely take all your questions to your therapist.
You have taken great steps at working through the process but there is healing beyond that.
I have known many to find full healing through therapy and walking in authority over those triggers. I pray in Jesus name every trigger to go! I pray for a new peace like never before to cover in miraculous ways.
Not to be crazy if you don't agree, but just to cover you in the only way I know how when all else fails. My relationship with God and prayer was my only Life-saving transformation that was lasting.

Amen to this.

 

[grit]

I used to feel similar, even though, most of my adult life, I have been lucky not to have “added” abuse or trauma in my adult life. I disconnected from familial trauma and choose wisely or luckily of my friends and spouse. But certain things lingered and I am processing them now because finally I am ready to face the music sort of. You kind of reminded me of me…so I will give you what worked for me personally.

My recommendation to you is this:

You need to join a creative writing class – for your gender alone or mix. It really does help and you can use that energy in creative and very visual way to release it. (IMHO no therapy can release this in decent time – yes you can stay in therapy for 20yrs but…unless you use creativity or/and other flow like mechanism, you cannot). Therapy is good but not particularly for this. A therapist can only see you a very small fraction of time out of your day/week/month/year or life. But triggers are like stain on your body. There you go and woof there they are. This is my personal opinion only.

By writing creatively, those intrusive thoughts become stories and imaginative ones that you can share with other as symbolic way or not but they are out of your body into the book. You could even write like children stories or science fiction – anything that put the visual of the thoughts into a paper.

You can also do this on your own but there is a therapeutic affect when in groups that you cannot get alone as if when you are writing diary. Creative groups especially those that follow stream of consciousness are extremely, in my opinion, powerful way of getting shit out of the body/mind and putting it into paper. Also it makes easier to share with the therapist cause your story becomes more cohesive, integrated, and unfragmented so it is easier to process and work through it. Now you are in a war zone and do not know your enemy.

Another area that worked for me that I find quite sad it is not used in the western world as good or even often in therapy (at least not as intense) and that worked for me and honestly give me the feeling that even though I had horrific childhood, I lead a happy, contended and free of intrusive, triggering thoughts or at least only if I am under duress. This using my dreams. Unfortunately, there are traumas that make us mad and unstable and frankly untreatable because their impact was too big for the child who experienced. I mean an adult can get rape and be pushed to suicide and we expect a child just get over it because well you were a child when it happens so it does not count (or something that feels like that ) or it was so long ago, get over it or you are adult now, act like one…there are experiences that are too horrific for adults and are just tooooooooooooo much for a child. And I do not care what anyone says, you cannot process them becoming conscious of them cause you cannot. The memory does not work like a computer. The body memory is very strong, and we do not know much about it. So I use dreams. Since I was very young, I have been recording (I do not keep them, and I destroyed as I processed things) but I wrote them down as soon as I woke up and see the pattern. If you are feeling fearful every morning when you wake up and you have dreams of say being chased, you write them down, you mediate on them, you try to see if you feel them inside of your gut and you do that often and you will see how much you are progressing and day nightmares may become real dream nightmares but you have more control at night and you process them. And you use them in your writing like stories and you start to love them and see them a way to channel through the fog of trauma.

I have PTSD with dissociation (that is becoming a thing of the past now) because I am feeling the pain in my body. I did not have triggers or flashbacks as much as this should be repertoire of PTSD because I use creativity with intention of healing in dreams and writing with a purpose.

PS. If writing in public or group is not your thing, do art. You must do something that uses your body and mind, without your mouth/logic.

Hope this works for you. It truly worked for me and I cannot speak for others.

 

[Lucycat]

You may be able to eliminate some/all of them.

I am not sure I agree here. I don't believe you can eliminate a trigger. But, I do think you can eliminate your reaction to them - over time and with a lot of hard work of course.

 

[HealingInProcess]

Ditto to the art/creative writing thing. It may also be that your inner child can only express itself in this way or that this is the way it is most comfortable expressing itself. I try and do this to condescend to the child part of me and meet him on his level instead of demanding that he put his raw emotions into formal prose.

 

[Tinyflame]

I don't believe you can eliminate a trigger.

@Lucycat - I know it can be done, because I've done it. Only a handful in decades, and more often just decreased reactivity. But, I have discovered a curious thing, when I could re-associate (believe that was how @Ronin had termed it once) the trigger with a positive connotation- it did become that positive (and more), and then I could build on that, too. Once it was accidental, a couple of times intentional (and I'm thrilled to say successful!)

 

[EveHarrington]

I am not sure I agree here. I don't believe you can eliminate a trigger. But, I do think you can eliminate your reaction to them - over time and with a lot of hard work of course.

Eliminating your reaction IS eliminating the trigger (for you).

Ok so you’re totally misunderstanding what I say which is kind of surprising that you’d actually take this so literally.

ie you think I’m saying that if cars are a trigger then I can eliminate cars?

Uhm no.

What I’m saying is that you can eliminate having cars as one of your triggers.

Please ask if you don’t understand my American vernacular. Thanks!

 

[HealingInProcess]

This may be a basic question but I just want to make sure my understanding of "trigger" is correct. Is a "trigger" the description of a thing that elicits an automatic reaction in a person (nervous system response) that is completely outside of their control? That is what I believe it is, like a Pavlovian response except this response is seared into the mind through trauma instead of conditioning (although I suppose a conditioned response would also be a "trigger" no?).

 

[Friday]

Stressor vs. Trigger - What Is A Trigger?