How To Respond to Careless PTSD Remarks

[Seychelle]

I like some of those suggestions. I'd have to rote learn them in advance, though. I usually shut down straight away if I feel under attack, my mind stops working and I freeze.

With my partner, if he says something that has unintentionally hurt me but he doesn't get why, I try to turn it around and ask him to imagine what it would feel like if I'd said it to him. That usually gets the message through at a deeper level.

I struggle the most with shutting off questions, specially from friends. I've found that saying 'I don't want to talk about it' or 'I'm don't like thinking about it' doesn't stop the questions. They still keep on going, and I can't always just walk away from it.

 

[map9]

I wish I could be clever and have some really good snappy come backs, but I swear I just stand there dumbfounded thinking they are such idiots or they are just cruel.

 

[sweetface]

2quilt..

If the speaker INTENDS to hurt with their remark....I just refuse to get into it with them. Ignoring them like they aren't even visible is so much better. I just walk away. It pisses them off too. I wouldn't waste my breath on them.

I also agree with Cecilia's remarks. They are non confrontational and it's a much better way to handle things.

I'm never ever an advocate of ignoring anyone, even if they insult you. Because PTSD has triggers, I know I may imagine slights when there is none, so for me to ignore and cut off communication with someone who may have been callous but not intending to would be unwise and inhumane. Abandonment, rejection and ignoring me triggers PTSD for me, so I would NEVER do to another what others have done to me, i'ys

It’s the golden rule. I would always ask a question, even if its sarcastic to get the point across. At least it keeps the lines of communication open and prevents me from imagining slights when there aren’t any.

 

[Sparky]

FightingLily,

I like your style...
:smile:

Sparky

 

[jeapea]

fightinglily... bless you. Thank you. I am so glad to be here... I have no family since the ptsd took over in my life. They all abandoned me and not one of them would so much as try to educate themselves. They gave me all the answers I needed.... to stay as far away from them as I could get. Trying to have a relationship with any one of them isn't worth the way they treat me or talk to me.