Supporter Husband Has Ptsd & I Need Help On What To Do

[Angel7]

Hi Copwife, I am going through a very similar situation. Fairytale romance for 7 years to him now telling me he wants to separate, its like he has a self destruct button. he then changes his mind, He works away and I have recently seen photos of him and he looks dreadful !! I love him so much he is confused agitated and we havnt spoke about PTSD or emotional numbness which he has all the symptoms.

Hopefully when he comes home I can persuade him to seek help, I hope I am strong enough to support him as 5 years in Iraq supporting him whilst away has taken its toll on me too !!!

Stay Strong for the Children and hope we can sort our futures out :)

 

[Angel7]

From a ptsd sufferer (me) I tell my wife sometimes I don't want to be with her anymore but its only out of shame on myself that I hurt her during my periods of hate and pain(usually all the time) I feel as if she doesn't need to be with this wild animal that can't control it's self. But I still Love her and wish we could be the people we were before I deployed..........

Tired of hurting, It must be as bad for you as a supporter as from what i read you push us away as a sort of control, and maybe encourage us to have another life so you dont have to face the conflict.
Every good relationship is worth fighting for and its not your problem its both of your problems.

I hope we can all come through this and learn to live with the different person this has turned you into.
Take care and remember ...

The couples that are MEANT TO BE are the ones who go through everything thats designed to tear them apart and come out even stronger .:)

 

[Eleanor]

But I still Love her and wish we could be the people we were before I deployed..........

Oh Tired, I so so so much know what you mean. But here is what the last four years have taught me. We can't go back. You are not the same person you were, and neither is she. You must BOTH move forward and become better yous together. If you can look a this as a problem that as married people you SHARE and are working on together (although you are responsible for your actions, even when you are bad, in the sense that you have to acknowledge what you did, how it hurt her, and figure out what you are going to do to make sure it doesn't happen again) then you guys can come through it.

You can't go back. You can only go forward. The only way out is through.

 

[Angel7]

Nice encouraging words, I do hope so. I feel frightened not knowing what to expect when he comes home. But feel once he is home we can begin to sort this together, I don't give up easily and I know he still loves me it just appears to be trapped inside somewhere.

We do so many happy things together and laugh lots too it's only when he goes to work he locks his emotions and communication down. I just pray we can move forward TOGETHER . :)