Supporter Husband Of Wife With Ptsd

[mywifestrigger]

Never Give Up, hang in there man! I so relate to what you are going through! Just know that you are not the only man that is going through this hell. I have been through this also. I just read on a coping website that I found that psycologists have a name for what I went through PISD, Post Infidelity Stress Disorder. I also found a great ebook that costs $47 at the website (so your wife cheated) that I am reading. It is really helping me cope with all of the refuse that I am feeling due to the adultery.

I do not mean to offend you, I am just going to put it to you straight, it is clear to me that your wife is dancing with idoltery in her relationship with God which will lead her in a dance with adultery. I am praying for you, your wife and your marriage. Never Give Up.

 

[mywifestrigger]

The reason that I have not responded earlier is that we found out that our newest grandson, that is one month old, just was taken to the hospital with meningitis. My wife was sobbing uncontrollably and asked me if God was punishing her. I told her no way and explained how much God genuinely loves her.

It seems to me a charateristic of PTSD is an extreme narcissistic view of life. Almost that my wife sees the whole world only revolves around her. She seems to think and demonstrate through her words, anxieties and actions that everything is due to her actions?

 

[intothelight]

I hope your grandson gets better and I will keep him in my prayers. Having a family crisis, especially a severe illness to a loved one, can make tensions run high. People tend to pull together or apart. Be careful with your words as terms like narcissistic carry negative connotations.

Many people with PTSD think there is something so "bad" or fundamentally wrong with them that they "cause" bad things to happen. Concepts such as "sin", "punishment", "guilt" or even a theological concept of "sins of the fathers" may become twisted. This can be even worse during times of stress. It is difficult for someone to understand that doesn't have PTSD as that thought process is foreign.

It isn't that someone with PTSD can't change, but they have to be at a point in recovery where they can identify faulty thinking patterns and redirect their own thoughts. Do your best to comfort and reassure at this point and hold onto hope. Also, find support for yourself as dealing with marital problems, a mental disorder, illness and just the daily stresses of like can take its toll on anyone.

 

[Never Give Up]

@mywifestrigger - I hope your granddaughter gets the help she needs. Your wife's comments sound just like what I am hearing at home. I just wanted to clarify with you. My wife has not committed adultery (yet). She seems to be changing her attitude since we met with our pastor. She went to church today (huge victory), she agreed to take our marriage day to day which means for me more "walking on eggshells" once again. The divorce is delayed for now.

I found out that my oldest son is affected my this marriage/PTSD situation. I thought since he was in college he would not see the brunt of it. My daughter is not doing well with this. I have decided that I will not have any discussions while me daughter is in the house. I need to respect her feelings also. I post scripture on facebook which impacts my life and people can read through it....especially my kids. At this time I just need to allow myself some space and relax and not take the crap she gives my personally. I know she is suffering everyday with her actions.

Is is normal with P.T.S.D. that breathing is louder and faster when they sleep vs. someone without P.T.S.D. ??

 

[annabellee]

Welocme dear

 

[annabellee]

Stay blessed

 

[mywifestrigger]

Last night my wife went into a rage. The reason you may ask? She caught me reading on the internet late at night. Do you know what I was reading? I was reading an ebook written by a man for men that are attempting to save their marriages after their wives have an affair with another man and betray them.

 

[mywifestrigger]

When I showed her what I was reading, she went into a rage. She began yelling and screaming that she hates me. She hates me for reading an ebook about how to recover as a man when your wife betrays and committs adultery. Then she began screaming at me again for being on this site. Then she continued her rage by picking up precious moments figurines and throwing them across the room into the wall and shattering them. As I got up, she threw one just missing my head. As she drew her arm back to throw the next figurine, I held her hand and gently moved her out of the room and shut the door. As I closed the door, she threw the figurine into the wall, I discovered the next morning, and shattered it, denting the wall. All the while, screaming that she hated me.

So I am genuinely asking, is this PTSD behavior?

 

[mywifestrigger]

Now, she is not speaking to me. Not answering her phone. Is this PTSD?

 

[intothelight]

Honestly, no one could tell you if that is PTSD or not. It is obvious you wife is angry with you and if you really want to save your marriage and restore your relationship, take the time to find out why.

Most of the time an affair is a symptom of a relationship that is in deep, deep trouble, and it isn't the "fault" of one party, one event or even an illness. It is the breakdown of something over time between TWO people. Reading about surviving an affair will help you cope, but it won't save the relationship, and if it is put back into the other persons face, then it will never be overcome.

Focus on reparation, and also keep in mind that your wife may not be at a point to engage in this. You can both take a time out to work on your own issues, as it is easier to create and maintain a healthy relationship when both people are healthy.

In my situation, only when I ask myself what I did to contribute to the breakdown of the relationship and focused on making my own improvements did things really begin to change. You cannot control others and the only control you have is over yourself. Oh, and I have PTSD, so infidelity is not a part of PTSD, but it is a part of relationships that are in trouble. Focus on making you the best you and the best spouse you can be.

 

[Never Give Up]

@mywifestrigger if it isn't a P.T.S.D. than it could just be Sin and anger which can eat away at your soul. I re-read your post and could it be that your wife is upset at you because what she did was intended on damaging you, and you are responding back differently than she expected. Anger....and control over you could send a person into orbit.
Was there ever any control issues in your past marriage you can recall. I see in my marriage some control issues that my wife is displaying which had not been there in the past.
You cannot be the blame for all her actions....she must come to grips with her actions. The shattered figurines are a result of her actions and bad intent.

 

[mywifestrigger]

Thanks for your input. My counselor is challenging me to focus on what I can change and improve in my mind, heart and soul. I am not without sin, so I have plenty to focus on. Since I love my wife soooo much, the down side is that I allow her to push all my buttons and get so frustrated from time to time. However, I have to realize that I must understand that I must push her buttons from time to time also. It is just so frustrating that except for God's grace, no grace is flowing from her to me. I just have to stay the course and "Never Give Up" and keep allowing grace to flow from my heart, if only replenished by Our Lord!