I’m pathetic. It wasn’t that bad…

Earthdog

New Here
Several years of therapy and I still return to these default statements time and time again:

- I’m pathetic - I should be over this by now

- It wasn’t even that bad

- I’m probably making it up/exaggerating/attention-seeking

- And that’s pathetic. And manipulative

Anyone else the same?

Anyone else manage to not frequently fall back on these kinds of thoughts/beliefs anymore? What helped you to do this/how did you do this?
Wishing it were not true, ignoring it, hoping it will go away on it's own is often far worse than keeping the can of worms on the table. Guilt tripping yourself is counter-productive. Face the demons with resolve and strength. Practice forgiveness and thankfulness. See if those help.
 

Freddyt

MyPTSD Pro
I have been through those thoughts too. It wasn't that bad, I feel like I'm cheating, all that.

Then I think about what it did to me over time. Then it all comes into focus and I don't feel so lucky. It gave me an autoimmune disorder that itself has come close to killing me a several times. I think about how in a physical way PTSD hid behind all those symptoms that my disorder shares with PTSD. How it messed up education, social life, and so much more. Now I have to sort out if its PTSD or disorder causing physical symptoms - one can be deadly, the other not so much.

.....and I know I didn't get off lightly. Someone did something to me that screwed me up for a long time and took away a lot of things from me and my life that I will never get back, and created a lifetime of physical problems. I also learned from it that physical challenges don't need to be visible. If you don't live with me you don't see the messy stuff that goes on in the background.

IT WAS THAT BAD..... but it was something that was done to me. It doesn't change me. I am a smart, resilient, person, and it has certainly been one of the most difficult things I have had to deal with in my lifetime. Its another challenge people can't see.

Learn to get positive. Write list of the things you want to be and want to think about yourself. Put them up where you go by them during your day. Make a habit of stopping and reading them EVERY TIME you pass them. Make it living, add to it, change it, make it say you are the person you want to be. (even when you are not.) Find the positives and dump the negatives. The problem for most people is they don't know that their brain does not know the difference between whats real and whats imagined. Stop imaging negative and imagine positive.
 

Starfire

Confident
Several years of therapy and I still return to these default statements time and time again:

- I’m pathetic - I should be over this by now

- It wasn’t even that bad

- I’m probably making it up/exaggerating/attention-seeking

- And that’s pathetic. And manipulative

Anyone else the same?

Anyone else manage to not frequently fall back on these kinds of thoughts/beliefs anymore? What helped you to do this/how did you do this?
Was told to remove the word *should* from my vocabulary. No shoulding myself or anyone else!
Yes, those thoughts appear now and again. Then I argue with myself. *I'm exaggerating* How often do I do that with other things? Etc
I've tried figuring out why they come back. Thought there had to be a reason. Haven't found one. They just happen.
But one part you mentioned I had a long talk with my T about....it wasn't that bad. Answer: yes it was. In my case, found it killed some people...mentally and or physically. I survived. With scars but I was strong enough to survive. You did too.
 

Thebadseed

New Here
Several years of therapy and I still return to these default statements time and time again:

- I’m pathetic - I should be over this by now

- It wasn’t even that bad

- I’m probably making it up/exaggerating/attention-seeking

- And that’s pathetic. And manipulative

Anyone else the same?

Anyone else manage to not frequently fall back on these kinds of thoughts/beliefs anymore? What helped you to do this/how did you do this?
I literally was about to ask the same question, I could have written all this myself
 

Starfire

Confident
I literally was about to ask the same question, I could have written all this myself
They are just thoughts. I try to make them fleeting. Like maybe I should paint my bedroom black! Sometimes I personify them. Like 'oh you again'. Sometimes I can laugh at them although that's harder. 'Yup, I should be over it and 6 feet tall and a millionaire!' If I start ruminating on them, I go down a dark rabbit hole.
 
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