I Am Getting Very Comfortable With The Idea Of Suicide

[Weemie]

when i'm down in the worst parts of myself, sometimes the idea of suicide is the only thing that soothes me. i'm generally a terrified ass person walking around the day to day so i doubt i'd ever do it but sometimes when you get right down in it, harm and death are the only things that embrace you. i get it. at the same time tho at this point, when you're way the f*ck down in the hole, there's really nowhere else to go. y'know? you're there. you're experiencing the most horrible shit. you're still breathing. the world is still going on.

 

[Katherine Baer]

I have gone to the extent of planning when, where and how I will do it. Before, I used to be scared...

Hi BW9.
I feel the very same. I've been in therapy, groups, depression stuff. I can't get past the self hate. I'm usually the supportive person. But I am too tired to help myself anymore. But I am seriously read to go. Thank you for your honesty.

 

[The Albatross]

"Nothing giving you joy", is a piss poor reason to actualize a suicide.

If you have been treated then put your thinking cap on to discover/use the opportunity before you to actualize some positive/pleasant/happy experiences and build on them. You're life, your choice. For the record however, suicide seldom ends as "expected". Bodies are resilient.

Why seek a final "solution/remedy" to a temporary situation? The only thing required is effort and a seed of hope. Learn to scan the world/your immediate environment for opportunities to initiate change. THAT, after all, is what the pangs are for... to initiate change, not kill yourself.

 

[fellowsufferer]

You keep on going, this too shall pas! I feel like this many times! Keep on reaching out, this is key!! All people out here understands!! BECAUSE they've been trough!!

 

[BruceWayne9]

So I am taking each day as it comes. The change in my medication has really helped these past few weeks. I am taking some time each day to get some exercise and have bee watching what i eat. That has been really helpful and I feel a lot less sluggish. I realize baby steps is key, and taking each day as it comes. I also stopped watching porn since the last 3 weeks, I didnt realise how much that how much of a difference that made, i used it as a coping strategy and I think it messed me up. But i disovered a site called, no fap which is dedicated to people who may have an addiction to porn,

 

[Ronin]

I'm glad for your progress, @BruceWayne9, glad you're taking all these steps and telling us. Lot of strength, there.

Thank you for the recommendation of that site, may come useful to someone.

Slow is alright. Unpleasant it may be, it's alright thing to be.

 

[HFA_Cat]

Bruce,

Oh yes I get it. I dated Nam vets - married one. Kind of odd that 30 years later =I= get PTSD: when I was diagnosed, I said "wait. That's what Nam vets get and I ain't been there!"

Do you hit the VA and do any of their groups? My ex went through hell, and we started going to those groups. He didn't feel right with the first one, got him to try another. And another until one "fit".

I know one thing for sure: you need to be with people who have been where you were. It's vital, will really, really help (((you))). I still get furious over you guys and how you were treated. LOTS of us DO - those days are long, long gone.

Just watched a thing on Nam on Netflix - best I've ever seen really. I think it's because they used footage shot by those who were there, and it's narrated by vets.

Gawd, I've only had this crap for 2 years and I'm trying to keep myself alive. Bravo, truly, for dealing with it so incredibly long.

 

[N1982]

There are people here that understand. That is why you came here in the first place, am I right?

Pl...

I need help

 

[WillyKat]

I need help

@MsGrotta, If you need help for yourself, please start a new thread and let us know what's going on. The more we know the better we can address what you're going through.

 

[Ronin]

@MsGrotta, we're totally here for you and listening and will probably have advice of which at least something is useful, though as Willykat said, please let us know what's going on in more depth, thank you.

 

[KwanYingirl]

I'm glad to hear you're feeling better. I have struggled with suicidal ideation for years. Twice I had to go to the ER and let me just say how horrible you get treated in that condition. It's better to go before you act on it and then the help is actually helpful. I like this quote I'll share with you;

Sometimes it's not the fight against your demons that matters, but the willingness to look for hope of what can be without them.

Namaste

 

[N1982]

I need help

How do I start a thread!!!!!!!