I Believe PTSD Is Curable - An Anonymous Source

[inichole]

I love this, and totally believe it's for real. I don't have PTSD but I'm weird have my hare of problems too, bad nerves, extreme insecurity, fear, worry-wart, etc...

I love reading stuff like this and learning about the mind works. Question? Has anyone seen the movie, "what the bleep do we know?" and if so whats your thoughts on it? This article made me think of that documentary.

I work in pharmacy too, and I've seen so many pharmacist and co workers mess up. Good people too! Its a stressful job to say the least.

I noticed the article was written a few years ago and then I see where it's writer is still here keeping it going. I was really glad to see that and that he's still going strong with this. That's wonderful!

 

[anthony]

Yes, LRS has been extremely helpful to this topic... and still going strong, symptom free I believe.

 

[becvan]

I have a question that just dawned on me. LRS, were you ever diagnosed with Complex? Or is it just PTSD? I'm wondering if that makes a difference.

bec

 

[lrs]

The first time I was diagnosed with PTSD, was in April or May of 1999, I believe. I went to a rapid detox clinic, and they did the testing there, the day prior to the procedure. Then in January, 2000, the State Board mandated I go for evaluation, so they could determine what course of action was necessary. The individual told me I had PTSD, was in a critical state, and recommended to the State Board I go to a treatment facility, ASAP. The treatment center did more extensive testing. I recall I was diagnosed with PTSD, and schizoaffective disorder, There were other diagnoses but I do not recall which. I do remember, they determined the schizoaffective d/o was so severe, my daily life was precisely that of a person with true schizophrenia. They determined I processed about 10% of what was actually occuring. They emphasized I did not have true schizophrenia. About a year and a half after I was discharged, I relapsed, the State Board mandated I go to a psyche hospital. I do not recall much about that stay, other than they mentioned EMDR, which was the first time I heard that phrase. A week later I was in another psyche hospital, and I recall little of that week, other than my mother, wife and daughters coming to visit. I was then put on a plane to go to another treatment center. I was diagnosed with PTSD. I was also told I had been using comparmentalization my whole life. Like whenever something bad happens, you stick it in a box and file it away. That psychiatrist then told me, you have no more boxes left, you are used up. The next time something bad happens, you will kill yourself. This fellow also stated under stress my mind blanked out. I told him I had reported that to earlier counselors and psychiatrists, but no one payed it much attention. I described this to him a little, I told him in addition to my mind blanking out, my vision would go dark. We also discussed that I had grown to be an isolated, eccentric individual.
I was never told I had complex PTSD, but I don't think complex PTSD came to be recognized until after 2002. If I am incorrect on this, feel free to correct me. I don't recall ever being told I had complex PTSD.

 

[lrs]

This is still an ongoing thing. Everything I have described is as accurate and honest as I know how to be. I am known for honesty and integrity in my personal and career life. In this overall discussion, I feel It would be dishonest if I did not include difficulties and setbacks.
This past year has been a difficult one. For the first time, I did experience one of the symptoms I used to have, this was all job related. My work as a clinical pharmacist is vastly complex. Most of my coworkers have doctorate degrees, we all perform the same tasks. In addition, for the past 4 years I have been subjected to bullying and now discrimination, by my immediate supervisor. In June of last year, a new type of assignment was given, involving a new drug, new criteria, etc. In addition, there is a time limit. There was no training, we each had to study this on our own time. The repurcussions for failure to be able to complete this were to be harsh. The time came when it was time to work my first issue.
My mind just went blank. I was unable to complete the task in the time frame. After it was completed, I still did not do it correctly. I informed my supervisor at the time what was happening, and requested assistance, and got none. I was reprimanded. I discussed what happened, what similarities it had with what I used to experience, when PTSD was kicking my ass. This fell on deaf ears. And this person has been trying to get me to quit my job since then.
This past Monday, I was written up for violating a policy, and was told by my supervisor, that the disciplinary actions were a follow up on his part, it was initiated from our Human Rescources department. The trouble, the policy I was to said to have violated does not exist. I contacted Human Resources, asked for clarification, both for the policy I was accured of violating, and of this disciplinary action being initiated by them.
They informed me they do not initiate discplinary action. I emailed them a copy of the write up. This was escalated to the head of human resources. She and I discussed this. I told her of the bullying that had been taking place prior to the incident last June, described the incident in June, of some specific instances of bullying since June, complete with time and dates. I also told her of my unusual story with PTSD as well. She advised for my own protection I should request special accomodation under the Americans with Disabilities Act. She immediately provided the paper work to do this. I'm not sure I want or need to do this. I just need to get this guy off of my back.
My supervisor was off last week, except for Monday, the day he wrote me up. He will be back tomorrow, and I anticipate all hell is gonna break loose. I have documented about 6 handwritten pages of incidences of bullying, and saved countless emails. I don't think it will be too difficult to defend myself, my documentation is accurate, and emails are undeniable. He has a documented history of sexual harassment, has bullied others, and circumstantial evidence easily points to racial discrimination as well.
I'm pretty much known universally as a nice guy. That's by choice, because that is the type of person I choose to be. But when cornered, as I am now, I have it in me, the capacity for mounting a ruthless defense. I have been spending this weekend getting everything in order for tomorrow. If he lies about anything, I will hold his feet to the fire, as sure as there is a devil in hell.
I could lose my job. There was an incident where this guy offered a subordinate female employee money for sex. She reported it to Human Resources, but did not follow through with reporting this to EEOC. Within 2 months, she was fired. He is still there. However, at that time, our division was owned by another corporation. I don't think our current corporation will tolerate this type of behaviour, but you never know. If they are tolerant, then it is EEOC I will be agoing.

 

[becvan]

Ah.. can't remember when Complex first started being used but it was very recent so your probably right. I really can't say if you fit it or not without going back and re-reading everything. LOL too tired for that right now.

I'm so sorry your having such problems at work. Your supervisor sounds like a real ass. I do hope you manage to get it resolved. Other than your mind going blank due to stress, do you have any other symptoms? Just wondering if this is a PTSD relapse or if you think it's more like just stress related and will clear up once it all calms down...

bec

 

[lrs]

I'm not having nightmares, flash backs, or jumping out of my skin with sudden noises. But last week I was having difficulty focusing and managing day to day stuff. I have been preparing for a showdown this weekend, just making sure I've got my ducks in a row.
Thanks for asking.

 

[No Folded Hands]

I am not sure how to put what is going through my head after reading through some of this. (I will need to go back and reread thoroughly at some point, but just don't have the time at the moment due to a project I need to finish by tonight). It may be that I have missed some things by not reading throughly yet. I AM glad that you found something that worked well for you. Irs, and actually you've got me thinking about a period in my life when I began partially functionally ambidextrous due to an injury of my usually dominant hand that was a long time (years) healing. I had managed to produce handwriting that was quite legible, if somewhat childish looking still, by the time my dominant hand recovered enough to retrain and did almost everything less exacting automatically with my nondominant hand. It might be interesting to explore possibilities.

On the other hand...I do find some of the note disturbing. It will take a little explanation to make that clear.

PTSD is not a mental illness, but a psychological disability. I am NOT a psychologist or psychiatrist or one of the various types of certificated human counselors, but this is the distinction I have heard from most of the people I know who are one of those and seem to know what they're doing. (My degrees are in veterinary medicine, biology, and public health, just as an FYI, I am also an animal behavioralist and health educator. :) ). I frankly know little about PTSD combined with mental illness, and can't really comment on that part. What bothers me is both the idea that PTSD is a mental illness (rather than a disability, I mean) and the statement of PTSD being curable.

As a veteran with PTSD who has had great difficulty getting the VA to take my symptoms seriously, I've had to resort to using a combination of my own bio-med-psych general knowledge, self-knowledge, my skills as a diagnostition and experience finding solutions for clients who hadn't the money to afford costly treatments, and all of the insights I could gather from other veterans who had coped with PTSD with at least some success for a number of years and from veterans with counseling degrees and certs who lived too far away to treat me formally but were willing to speak with me semi-regularly via telephone and share options/ideas or help me sort out ways to handle each aspect as I identified it. It sounds a right hodgepodge but it worked for me, at least well enough to get me through school.

But I still have PTSD. And now, finally, there opened up a possibility of getting therapy formally. (YEHAW!) However I went through no less than three therapists before I found one with whom I am compatible...and I heard some seriously disturbing things along the way. I am not sure what you meant by not being sure if it was safe to share what you'd been doing...but to me, after what I have been hearing at the VA here, the bare idea of curable PTSD is not "safe". You see, in the very recent past I have been emphatically told by VA employees supposedly specializing in PTSD research that it IS curable...but when questioned as to specifics they describe a state in which most of the symptoms are under enough control most of the time that the disabled person can "pass" as normal --NOT a state in which he (or she) no longer has any symptoms or problems because the PTSD is gone. One of the therapists I initially saw also told me that all PTSD, from any trauma, to any degree, of any type, source, duration, etc is curable...and that the only people who cannot be cured of it completely after a few weeks of therapy are those who want to keep getting disability checks.

That terrifies me. I have this horrific vision in my mind's eye. It's partly because veterinarians who treat animals other than pets must become good at following current facts to future possibilites and take proactive steps to keep herds healthy (and so do public health people, for humans). But perhaps it's also just because I have lived long enough to see the kinds of things that have happened due to funding cuts previously, or because I have personally experienced and witnessed so much of the methodology that can be used to discontinue adequate ongoing treatment for physical conditions, or even just because of all the news stories centering around various private memos etc revealing that someone here or there had suggested ways to avoid diagnosing veterans with conditions that could not be fixed in a couple weeks. At any rate, I have this picture of a great crowd of veterans with PTSD suiciding, living homeless until they die of exposure or disease, and so on, because the VA decided PTSD is curable "with a few weeks of therapy", sent them all through those few weeks, pronounced them cured, and --since they were "cured"-- took away not only their disability payments but all hope of any future treatment/healthcare of any kind.

That picture haunts me. Not just because I might be one of the vast crowd if it happened. It also haunts me because, as a public health professional, it's MY JOB to make sure things like that don't happen.

Suddenly I feel terribly weighed down by responsibility without authority. Oooh!

I don;t beleive all PTSD is curable. I believe ASD is curable, and that some PTSD may well be in some individuals, and that we should go for it when we can. I also believe some PTSD is simply a disability that does not have to run your life but definately cannot just be ignored or dismissed (because then it DOES run your life). How do we create a world in which everyone who has this gets help with it best suited to them, and real cures are celebrated without the still disabled being penalized/discarded? I don;t quite have the answer yet. :)

 

[lrs]

Next month will be the 10 year anniversary, of the day I informed my wife I no longer have PTSD.
I have been doing well. The decades spent, of a sad and dysfunctional existence are now a distant memory. If I had not done what I did, I am certain I would no longer be here.
I don't have much to add, I just wanted to share this.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Oh so the story is about you?

I can't help but wonder how many confounding factors there are. I mean you say your PTSD is healed but the title is misleading as you were a drug addict and have other psychological disorders as well. So yes, it's a bit misleading to attribute it all to PTSD when the truth is that you cleaned up after years of drug and alcohol abuse and you deal with other disorders as well.

I don't doubt that you're healed. I doubt that it was all PTSD.

 

[Stagetrapdoor]

This is truly a meaningful coincidence. I ran into an old banjo playing friend of mine and told him I was crazy as a bed bug without going into too much detail. He started talking to me about the importance of playing music . There were times in my life when I played an hour on fiddle, an hour on mandolin , an hour on guitar and banjo. I was learning clawhammer and Scruggs style .Then I This was my job.

 

[Bedbug]

@Stagetrapdoor, who are you calling "crazy"?!

*wink*