I Cannot Wait To Move

[sonicwhite]

It's a very different thread topic than my last one. I live in a house that I've been vexed for twelve years. I won't go into why this house is different from others but can a peaceful soul have peace in a haunted house. The nightmares are disturbing. But a Father I know can heal me. I'm not against medicine. But if I don't need it I don't need it.


I'm called to ministry. Always have been and for the longest I've endured a trial only a God I know would test to make sure I would keep His word and never deny His name.


So to me I'm starting to look at moving as a really good thing No! Great thing. I want to go back to school. Go into college. Go work and be a pastor. I feel that is my High calling in Christ. So just a heads up ppl. I'll be getting a lot better soon.

 

[ladee]

Good to see.
Wishing you success on the next part of your journey!

 

[sonicwhite]

I'm always torn between whether my dreams are demonic attacks to PTSD. I have lost faith in doctors but not God. First I started losing my faith in God and turned to man.

Gabapentin is addictive. Idc what anyone says. I don't abuse klonopin. It just takes the edge off my panic. Whether it really is a spiritual attack will be tested as I move. Last nights dreams was deep and very disturbing but this time I woke up with rest in my heart. I didn't have anxiety.


But, than again I do believe that ppl can suffer trauma. It depends on how you have to respond to what happened to you. When I first gave my life back to the Lord in 06 I was completely sure with the nightmares few and far between that is was a demonic attack.


But, as I started to lose faith I started to really just destroy my life. My God is possible to do anything that is in His Righteous power. Let's just continue in breathing in Gods word again and getting closer to him. STOP! completely the abuse of gabapentin and I have no doubt things will clear up.


I'm just telling you guys that I know what suffering and trauma feels like I want you to understand that I'm not saying PTSD doesn't exist. I've been to hell and back. Thought I was at Gods judgment. I know what stress feels like.



If God closes doors when I want to become a minister than I'll know I'm doing it but the way He sees me doing it. I'm going back to school. And I'm going to help ppl but with the power of love. My mission in life is to run the race and win. With Gods help God willingly I believe He will get me there.