I do not trust anybody

[IamFree]

I feel like I do not trust anyone

I do not know what it means to trust I feel confused I do not know were to turn for love.

I feel confused I do not know who is right and who is wrong what is real what is not

I learned from day one if I do not take care of my self no one else will

If feels like the knife in my back is still there and I don't know how to get it out

It seems like everytime I try to open to people they way they behave reminds me of why I want to go back in.

I hate all the people who have so much but still want to take what little I have left

but I take responsibility for this it is my sickness and my problem

 

[Teasel]

**Support**

I can relate, have difficulty with this too. Also with trusting my perceptions.

Practising metta (developing an attitude of loving kindness towards self and others) is a big help in changing my default attitude from negative mistrust. And opening up tiny possibilities of approaching life with a warmer attitude.

Hope you find what helps you :-)

 

[IamFree]

yes right now I am just finding acceptance of were I am at right now is a start rather than trying to be something I am not and pretending everytrhing is all positive and rosy...learning how to be present to what real feelings are coming up is painful but I know its what I have to go through to get better.

 

[jade53]

I hope this isn't taken as more discouraging than supportive because I certainly understand. As a bored police officer in a rural setting to security in one of the most violent environments, to safety consultant for government services prior to being diagnosed bipolar and medicated "Because of never being a happy camper, with racing thoughts and moods up and down like a yo-yo", (for some infathomable reason to a doctor that at the time wasn't familiar with PTSD), my rule of thumb was never expect anything from anyone and never be disappointed.

I'm convinced the worse things that happened to me were the result of having the natural brain chemicals altered that had developed checks and balances through the years to become a trusting fool that anyone could take advantage of and did.

I think there's always an instinct that for whatever reason tells us not to trust, that whether justified in the end or not isn't as important as what our own brain is telling us isn't right, (or maybe just isn't healthy at this point in time).

 

[WishfulThinking123]

I have a problem truly trusting people as well, to care for any kind of need whether that be emotional, physical, etc.. Therefore, I do not think I get deeply attached to people so when they do drop off or let me down it doesn't hurt as bad? Idk... depending and trusting on someone else to take care of me is not something I am apt to do. My x husband while dating stated that it is good to "depend" on someone else sometimes and so, I did start learning to trust him and depend on him and then he of course became abusive after we got married so, idk if I will be able to learn to depend on someone again.

 

[EveHarrington]

I don't think I've ever trusted anyone. I can't trust enough to have friends or a relationship.

 

[whiteraven]

Trust is a funny thing. I think it's important that you define it for yourself. What does it mean to you? I developed trust for a few people over several years, a deep intimate trust. Then, in 2014, I lost it all. Never regained it. This time, that lack of trust extends to everyone - to people and institutions. I know what an awful feeling it is.

The only thing I can suggest is to start very slowly and work on building trust and compassion for yourself. Lots of kindness and self-care. Gotta start there first.

Take care.

 

[provencepearl]

I have had people tell me I HAVE to trust them because I have such issues with trust and they are the person to help me and it starts with trusting that person. And then that person harms me in a horrible way, taking advantage of my trust. So now my rule of thumb is if someone demands trust instead of earning it, they absolutely cannot be trusted. Why do so many people take advantage of others who have suffered so much? And why is there no one (that I ever meet) who is willing to earn trust? I am willing to earn the trust of others, but it is never reciprocated.

 

[WishfulThinking123]

@provencepearl your post resonated with me so much! I wish I would have read it prior to my last boyfriend... Yes, I have given my trust too freely to others in the past and I tend to think positively of others and people often take advantage of my dependability and loyalty. I have actually been told I am "naïve" and I shouldn't be that nice...However, I am used to being surrounded by someone who thinks negatively about everyone and I'd rather live my life thinking the best of others and being wrong than constantly thinking negatively about others...however it is still hard for me to build deep relationships because, I have a nagging fear of vulnerability...

 

[IamFree]

Indeed everything starts with me...what I think it is very ironic is that often the less I trust I seem to attract the most untrustworthy people..perhaps its just the law of attraction....I need to learn how to give more love for attracting healthier people....I am also revising what my expectations of people are..its unreasonable to expect anyone will never behave badly some times

 

[donethat]

Trust and Purpose are the biggest needs of many ptsd sufferers. Right now I am a big flipping mess and I have no idea why.
I know the way to start trusting again is simply start trusting again. Right now I don't want to be around anybody.

 

[IamFree]

Trust and Purpose are the biggest needs of many ptsd sufferers. Right now I am a big flipping mess and...

Ha ha it seems in PTSD everything is always easier said than done