I have some questions about emotions...

[Lavenderlady11]

Hi everyone I just have some questions I been wondering about can't find any real answers on google so I came here hoping someone is familiar with this anyway here it goes as far as emotions go I can experience happiness but I have trouble feeling sadness and being able to cry this usually only happens when I'm thinking about my childhood sexual abuse memories I can't feel any fear, sadness or cry really at all anyone have an experience similar to this ? Any ideas of what it could be would be appreciated - Amanda

 

[Wendell_R]

When I struggled through my first marriage and subsequent divorce, it was really hard for me to feel anger and to feel or express desire, or what I was missing in my marriage. I went largely numb. For me, and I suspect lots of us here, we've learned to repress certain emotions that are coupled to our trauma, while allowing ourselves to feel other emotions that seem safer.

My healing happened (and is still happening) slowly. Learning who I can be safe with (Mrs. W, therapists, my kids), and then letting little bits of emotion out, learning I can handle that, and proceeding.

 

[Lavenderlady11]

Wendell_R

When I struggled through my first marriage and subsequent divorce, it was really hard for me to feel anger and to feel or express desire, or what I was missing in my marriage. I went largely numb. For me, and I suspect lots of us here, we've learned to repress certain emotions that are coupled to our trauma, while allowing ourselves to feel other emotions that seem safer.

My healing happened (and is still happening) slowly. Learning who I can be safe with (Mrs. W, therapists, my kids), and then letting little bits of emotion out, learning I can handle that, and proceeding.

Thanks I appreciate your response I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder when I was a teen but I'm wondering if I was misdiagnosed and might have ptsd i took a few online tests to see what the likelyhood is and it said it seems likely but I don't really have nightmares that often I'm just not sure if it's ptsd or not anyways thanks !

 

[grit]

My feeling is that you want to project happiness so others will find you easy to be with. You have deeper feelings or knowledge from your childhood where you felt burdensome so you rather overcompensate with I am so happy all the time while when you are alone you may notice shit I feel nothing.
This is my take.

 

[Lavenderlady11]

My feeling is that you want to project happiness so others will find you easy to be with. You have deeper feelings or knowledge from your childhood where you felt burdensome so you rather overcompensate with I am so happy all the time while when you are alone you may notice shit I feel nothing.
This is my take.

Thank you ! maybe that is it on like a subconcious level projecting happiness

 

[grit]

At our healthiest states,but is natural to have all feelings as they arise so if you are only aware of some, then something happened to you when you were very young or extremely vulnerable that shocked your body to avoid them to survive and you get stuck on the automation of it.

 

[pam4him]

I had kind of a similar thing when my brother died. I didn't cry for several days, even made it through visitation and the funeral without tears. But as we left the cemetery I said we had to wait for my brother, and then the realization of the finality of his death brought the emotions. Try not to let the lack of emotion worry you too much, it is a common reaction to trauma. Our minds can only process so much at a time, and can cause a disconnect between the emotion and the event. The other thought on this is if you have processed through the trauma, there's really no need for the emotion. Not sure where you are on your journey, but both are possibilities. Be aware that the emotions could hit out of seemingly no where. If you are in counseling, the therapist should be able to provide you with "tools" to prepare for this. If not, please consider it. Prayers for peace, wisdom and strength.

 

[Lavenderlady11]

I had kind of a similar thing when my brother died. I didn't cry for several days, even made it through visitation and the funeral without tears. But as we left the cemetery I said we had to wait for my brother, and then the realization of the finality of his death brought the emotions. Try not to let the lack of emotion worry you too much, it is a common reaction to trauma. Our minds can only process so much at a time, and can cause a disconnect between the emotion and the event. The other thought on this is if you have processed through the trauma, there's really no need for the emotion. Not sure where you are on your journey, but both are possibilities. Be aware that the emotions could hit out of seemingly no where. If you are in counseling, the therapist should be able to provide you with "tools" to prepare for this. If not, please consider it. Prayers for peace, wisdom and strength.

Thank you for the kind words !

 

[pam4him]

You are most welcome!