I just need some care and support

[blackemerald1]

Don't go there @FauxLiz - wait until you have the new T totally in the loop before opening up the box. Psyc., notes are written in their own lingo and don't really tell your story or progress in the manner you would be thinking they will. They do not encapsulate the person, just the disorder and that can be damaging to read if you are the subject of the notes.

I've read some of mine and it got to me. I wouldn't do it again.

 

[Abstract]

Like the others said; notes are written in a clinical tone and maybe with clinical observations, the way they are supposed to be and without the reassurances and warmth that you genuinely had in your t relationship. Sometimes t observations are not told to us if they think it wont be useful either. It sounds to me like you have enough on your plate without adding another thing to start processing and dealing with. You would have to be firmly grounding in what you know your relationship with this is t was like. Well done for going and for being so mature about finishing your T with him and I hope you can keep all the good you achieved with him!

 

[FauxLiz]

Well I went there and honestly don’t know what the big deal was other than remarking a couple of different times that I was struggling with ADL’s including anything more than my hair in a ponytail it wasn’t anything we hadn’t discussed in sessions.

I guess what I have been most disappointed in all of this is meeting with him yesterday was so cold and he kept reiterating that if I have any questions that they need to come through my new T, like I have done or said anything other than asking for my records since our last session and that request was faxed to his office not in any type of personal communication I just feel as though all my fears that he couldn’t wait to get rid of me as a patient were true.

 

[Justmehere]

Asking for contact to come through your new therapist isn’t stating you did something wrong or that he couldn’t wait to get rid of you. That’s standard instructions many therapists give after terminating with a client who is working with a new therapist. It’s not unusual or personal to you. He’s trying to support your recovery. That being said, I know it does still hurt to hear it.

What is unusual? The time he spent to sit down and talk with you post termination and hand you the records directly. That actually is much more than most therapists would do. They would typically just fax a response back and send the records to the new therapist directly.

It’s possible he’s trying to balance the fact that he kind of overstepped usual bounds to meet with you post-termination with also stating how contact needs to happen from here. It’s a little push/pull on his part, and it makes sense to me that you’d feel bad about it... which is why most therapists don’t do this... they just send a letter in response to a records request.

The way it played out seems to me more like a therapist who is actually slightly struggling with letting you go as a client. Not someone super eager to get rid of you.

You haven’t done anything wrong. At all. I’m sorry it didn’t go as you had hoped. :hug:

 

[blackemerald1]

so cold and he kept reiterating that if I have any questions

He isn't being cold. He's being practical and kind...though you probably perceive it as cold. He's no longer professionally responsible for you and he wants you to have the best chance to start with your new T and succeed. That means he has to let go. It's not just you that has to let go. Your former T is human too.

 

[FauxLiz]

Thank you everyone you are right he is human as well and I never considered that this would be hard for him I didn’t have this much trouble when I moved away from home the first time or when I left my ex probably cause those were both abusive relationships and this was one that modeled what a healthy relationship should be like.

 

[Kopykat]

How are you doing @FauxLiz ?

 

[FauxLiz]

@Kopykat I am holding on. It has been a long week and new T out so last night I broke down and wrote a letter to my previous T. I know I can't/won't send because we aren't working together any longer but I needed to "talk" to someone and he was who I wanted to talk to.

 

[Kopykat]

@Kopykat I am holding on. It has been a long week and new T out so last night I broke down and wrote a letter to my previous T. I know I can't/won't send because we aren't working together any longer but I needed to "talk" to someone and he was who I wanted to talk to.

That’s understandable and a good way to cope positively. I’ve written letters/emails to people I won’t send it to just so I can get those thoughts out. Keep holding on :)