safenow-LOL, good story.
During a really stressful time, I went from a size 6 to 0 in a couple of months. I didnt really realize I was loosing so much weight, was still fit. Anyway, when I washed my jeans and dried them, they fit. But after having them on, they would become looser by the hour. I was at a Barnes and Noble book store and it was winter-so I had on a hip length leather coat. As I walked, I kept feeling the jeans slide down my hips, and I would have to kind of stick my hand up under my coat and pull them up. I would try to get between some book shelves so others didnt see me-a bit embarrassing. This is when I realized that I had been doing this a lot with my favorite jeans. My next stop was at the Gap for a size 4 while they still had them.
Went to the Gap and the 4 was too big, the 2 was too big, and the zero was just right. It was hard for me to believe that I had not noticed this in my extremely busy life.
Yesterday I went to the mall and one thing on my list was to buy just one bra that fits. I have my daughters hand me downs that she has grown out of. Most regular price was $40-50 which was fine. Just want one nude or white bra that fits and doesnt hurt since I have gained all those pounds back. Well they had this rack of bra's that were on sale and additional half off. The clerk must have been determined to get rid of them all this day. Every bra I asked for in my size along the wall, she would come back with a fuscia, or purple, or orange, in an almost size, rather than going in the back to get my size. She had me so confused as they all had names such as The Natalie, The Emma, The Katherine. In this 4x4 room, at one point I was so damn tired and hot (flashes) after about an hour. I said-do you just have this in white in my size? She looked at me pityfully and said, thats the purple one.
I said ok, well I dont like this fit, this one is too small, this one puckers, etc and was giving her back all these bra's that I had ruled out. Then I picked one from the pile and looked puzzled and said "what is this ones name, I dont remember trying this one, this is nice" and she said "mam, that is your bra". I knew it was time to go. She then told me that her shift was over and Ann would be helping me. Ann come in and measured me. She said 'well no wonder none of these fit you, you need a 32 and Im going to pull some favorites in your size. I put my old bra on and ran while she was in the back. Maybe next week, or month.
I felt like this experience would have made an episode of saturday night live or something. It was very bizarre. After exiting the store and finding my male shopping buddy, he said, "you didnt buy anything, you been in there an hour, I wondered if you were ok". He acted like I must have been in that 4x4 knitting a hat or something. As we proceed into the restaurant to eat, he continued to prod me as to how I could spend such time and buy nothing.
Finally I just had to tell him-its like this. I put Emma on, she has 3 hooks in the back, I put her on the loosest, hooking it in front and then twisting the cups around to my front, (because I have a rotator cuff tear I cannot reach my back to hook it) I slid my arms through the arm holes-but it felt so tight that it was pushing my breasts up around my chin. So I slid my arms out and tried to adjust the shoulder strap to make it looser, but I could not manuver the clip in this position, so I slid the bra around my waist to I could see and reach the strap adjustment better, I moved it all the way down, then did the other strap. Back to center, arms through, but now it drooped, so I did the whole process again this time adjusting the strap to the halfway point. Now the straps were in the right place, but there was a big pucker in the left cup, so I slid out of it, turned it around, and fastened the back on the middle hook, turned it back around and slid arms through. That looked better, but now I had skin hanging over the side and back that would show through. So I ruled this one out. Then I moved on to Katherine and did same, then Natalie, Suzanne, and the Mary. The Mary was decent but not great, so I proceeded with the Jenna, the Brooke and the Emily, which were all bad. Then there was the Katrina, the Kristin, and the Britney. And when all was said and done, my daughter bra fit the best.
I do not know who invents these bra's, the sizing process, or the tight clasps that adjust the straps, but it aint no 50 yr old woman-I assure you. I dont know if any of you have had such experiences, but it is exhausting and laughable. Once you have made the mistake of paying 50 bucks for a bra that you dont really like-maybe a few times, you are less willing to settle. I can settle for a drawer full of other peoples bra's (daughters) who have all passed me up. If that is not a frustrating experience, a man who is asking you such questions is more than an annoyance. I dont know, maybe he thinks the 4x4 fitting rooms have an exit with a singles bar on the other side.
Moral to story-never take a man if you are bra shopping, remember the one you wore in, get your size and color before they trap you in the 4x4 and bring you funky colors, take a bottle of wine with you, and if you are in menopause, a battery operated fan is not a bad idea. Allow yourself plenty of time, or better yet, consider mail order-order 10 different styles and sizes, and hope for the best. No matter what, find humor in your frustration.
I can still picture that woman looking at me and saying "mam, that is your bra" . The only funnier thing would have been if I would have tried it and liked it and taken it to the counter to purchase. Since I have a head injury, it could have happened.
