I Need A Job

[sonicwhite]

UGH eight years being on SSDI is so draining. Way more than a life that has purpose........I'm tired of waking up doing the same thing everyday. I want that sense that I am doing something with my life. Surrounded by ppl who feel the same way.....I dropped out of High School in the tenth grade.......I know I need a lot to succeed in life but doing nothing is so counter productive.....I life without meaning is no life. It's a vegetable that wants to escape the imprisoned body that it is trapped to.

 

[Changing4Best]

I'm on SSDI too, but I fear going out to work. I applaud your being inspired to do something. I have no car and I live out in the mountains. Transit here only operates in the mornings and early afternoons, so there is no option to get a job for me. I wish you the best of luck and I said a prayer for you too.

 

[sonicwhite]

Thanks. I bet the mountains are beautiful......I will pray that God will give you what you need. I fear going back to work too. Because if I go back to work i can lose my SSDI and if I get sick I will have to go thru the refining process all over again and I can't lose my doctor. He has been the only one that will prescribe klonopin that helps my crushing anxiety.

 

[Changing4Best]

I had to go off of klonopin, so I feel for you. It was hard to do, but thankfully my psychiatrist gave me another medicine to ease the anxiety, which it does do to some degree, though not as well as the klonopin, I know. It is called Hydroxizine, in case you should ever need to stop the klonopin, which sometimes stops working. It is not meant to be a long term drug, did you know that?

 

[sonicwhite]

Yup and I have been on it since 2010........that and xanax and valium, I take klonopin as prescribed either twice or three times a day......Vistril doesn't even touch the crushing anxiety I feel.....All I can do when i was on nothing but Anti Depressants was to count down the time when i was going to be Judged by God........My biggest fear is standing before God and He opens up the heart and reveals to the entire universe what i have done.....Even tho PPL feel I have done petty things, to me it feels like the weight of the world on my shoulders. That's what Christ meant to take up the cross and walk.......Christ felt the same thing when a shadow was forced between Him and Abba Father.........Jesus felt the weight of the world and pain the price on the cross. Defeated Satan and took the keys of Hades away from him. All ppl have to do is believe. Trust me I don't feel it as much as I did in the past but there is nothing scarier that standing before a Holy God and are about to be Judged.....That is why i have PTSD.......So traumatic it's beyond the DSM 5 scale of what anxiety is.

 

[Ronin]

Well if you're so worried about someone's judgment, God's or anyone's, why don't do you do something that might lessen that judgment, or drop worrying about it altogether? I don't really think the judge here is as much God as it is your own thinking. And that's something that's within your power to change.

 

[KwanYingirl]

@sonicwhite my best advice for you is to get yourself to your states Vocational Rehabilitation agency. Every state has one. Google Department of Vocational Rehabilitation and then type in your state.

You are exactly who they are trained to help at zero cost to you. They will verify your disability, help you develop a plan towards employment that accommodates your disability and is also rewarding for you. And they don't just drop you once you are working or in a training program. They will support you and help you over the bumps on the way.

They gave me some evaluations to discover what careers match my strengths. It was a very supportive agency. I have been self employed part time and still get SSDI. The payback is just what you feel. A life with no meaning.

Check it out!!!

 

[The Albatross]

Get your GED? Volunteer? Experiment around with not for profits in your area and find your preferences and talents? Then sky's the limit?

 

[illusionist]

There is no one who judges themselves more that myself. I put this to positive use....I do whatever it takes to change what I can, then I can remove it from my mind. The things I cannot change I put it down to experience and make sure I don't do it again. Some things a God would judge me for, I give him/ her/ whatever a smile with a twinkle in my eye....his sins are my pleasures. Never let anyone judge you except yourself!

I hope you find yourself employment and find the strength to believe in yourself.

 

[The Albatross]

Hey Sonic... my maternal grandmother got her GED at age 65 and her two year degree (AA) at 82. Guess what, she was happy and fulfilled in combination with her other activities. She attended clown college in Tampa and became "Hi Ho" the clown and did area events including schools and children's hospitals. She had a very happy life even though she couldn't do a job.

I on the other hand had a diploma and quit college with only a couple classes short of my own AA... but rehabbed myself, started volunteering at my Y... became a water aerobics instructor, then a life guard, then a certified pool operator and life guard trainer, then community CPR/Basic and Medical First Aid/AED and Oxygen instructor... then briefly (cuz of an increase of chronic illness symptoms) an Aquatics Director. Imagine my surprise... but you know what? All those things lead to another and all those challenges and opportunities ended up with me being able to work full time the past couple years. My Y's went bankrupt... but not before I was able to learn how to cope and manage to keep a job. I work with elderly and help them to stay independent in their own homes now.

It can happen.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Yep, definitely check out DVR. I know they have helped many, but they can also be a PITA, too. This is why I'm hesitant about using them, but when I do, I will take along a family member to advocate for me as a precaution. I have a few more months before I can start the process....

Have you considered getting your GED? What about going back to school? In my state I can go to community college tuition free, and that's what I am doing right now. I know that other states don't have this program, but its definitely something worth checking out. I am planning on starting a degree program next year so I can enter a new career in the future.

If you're worried about losing your SSDI, just be sure to stay under the income limits.

 

[darrenS]

I dropped out in year 10 as well , and done a variety of jobs (some i gained qualifications from) , eventually i got a job in the govt , they sent me to school with pay , the sad thing was once i got a diploma i changed course and never used it , i then went into technology just as computers were becoming common and went from there. I still do lots of technology but my main focus now is art - there are so many things you can do and as @Solara + @Kwanigirl suggested check out the resources available to you, as the only thing that really stands in our way is our own fear