@Cypress i thought about what you wrote....
It’s that, the cat behaved in a way that it needed to. Yes, that behaviour pisses (no pun intended ?) me off too because it’s our bedroom and neither of us wants to sleep on cat piss, it’s nasty!
It’s how my supporter dealt with it, and it’s ME that had a reaction to that. The reaction I had was based on the past and centred on being punished for things either out of my control, or not carried out by me. It’s also linked to someone/something else suffering because of me.
My supporter didn’t do anything wrong, my reaction to what he did was wrong....but it was my reaction and I’m trying to comprehend it and why.
I’m also trying to learn how to express things rather than keep them inside. The forum helps me with that a lot. It’s gonna take lots of practice though.
@Warrior Chicken Well, guilt will twist my head in many ways. Did you ever talk to the person and like make some kind of amends?.....I know that if I could tell my daughter anything, it would be that I'm so sorry I wasn't good enough. I wish I had possessed the skills to be good enough....I wish I wasn't suffering from PTSD and could have been there for her......when she was suffereing w PTSD, too.....While an apology can never change the past, it can help to ease a memory.......and it is beginning of healing.....the 12 step program has a "make amends" step.....I'm working on that now.....very hard to own my failures of others and failures of mine about me personally....but I think it getting easier over time......and I'm being not so hard on myself.