I Realize That I

[Kailani]

I would like to be in a state of I realize... about certain things and am thankful after 25 years to find out about this type of PTSD. Finally

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

I realize that I haven't been able to tell if I'm feeling hypervigilant or not for days now. It's making me paranoid and very confused. And I feel like I can't think straight because I'm so confused. I feel like I can't trust half of what I'm thinking because I can't tell if what I'm thinking is rational or distorted. I think it's distorted though.

 

[The Albatross]

I realize that I still have a really limited capacity for stimulation (noise, changing situations/circumstances, number of people in a short time span, visually)... my ugly inner critic "feels" it will never normalize. The best I can do today is say I did the best I could and argue back that "feelings" aren't facts and at best, whether it normalizes or not... it is UNKNOWABLE. Now I'm trying to believe it. Cross your fingers... but rationality once overstimulated is no small feat for me.

 

[Deleted member 19804]

I realize that stress has a much larger impact on me than I'd care to admit. I realize that I have been very confused lately and that I may be dissociating.

 

[Britt.f7]

I realize that my dad's and my relationship will never be what I hope it to be. He is who he is. I am who I am. Neither are going to change for the other. Sigh.

 

[The Albatross]

I realize that I have had some growth and would rather be grateful for the time we spent in person that feel sorry for myself that she resigned and is leaving my area.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I realize that i need to slow down and pay more attention to whatever I am doing. Lately I have been a bit scattered and dissociated again and I have not done that for a very long time, hence I realize that I have to really look within and see where I do not feel safe because this only happens when I do not feel safe. Lots of inner work to do on this one.

 

[Lionheart]

I realize that NOW is all I really have so, I am making the best of it by giving of myself and loving everyone I can as much as I can.

Not for reward in heaven or anything like that. It is it's own reward and is simply the type of man I choose to be. I am much happier than I have been in a long time and I realize that I have come a very long, long way from where I was this time 20 years ago.

I also realize that it is time I took full credit for the hard work I have done and enjoy the success.

 

[Britt.f7]

I realize that people like to talk to my sister who don't talk to me. She listens more to gossip then I do. She thinks it is because they think she holds their confidence. Possibly, but she never held mine. I don't have the heart to admit that to her.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thank you so much for saying how far you have come Lion, because I also am such a different person than I was twenty five years ago.

And Britt good for you. I cannot stand gossip and tend not to. I have such a difficult time with people who gossip. In my anger management class, I learned that gossip is a way to hurt someone and not be responsible for the hurt they do. You are so right on the mark to see this in your sister and not trust her at all.

I realized so much about myself today. I feel safe and happy and secure so naturally the inner stuff is beginning to surface so I can do something about the false beliefs I have and the self punishment I have been inflicting on myself. So much truth is surfacing and I was so lost in the triggers until I began to start dealing with it and thankful for all of the great support I have gotten today and that if I break a commitment, I never again have to self abuse and punish me but compromise with myself and to start to think rationally.

To realize that I can compromise with myself is a very heavy realizstion for me. This explains so much to me. I am so eager to learn the lessons I am beginning to learn right now. Feel so relieved and grateful.

 

[Britt.f7]

@gizmo Thank you for the support. It was much needed today.

 

[Let It Be]

I realize that I must be doing some self-parenting of myself because I do feel different now, carrying around less baggage, and just taking care of myself.