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I Realize That I

I realize that although I think I am happy, I feel really sad in my heart.

I also realize that I fight the sadness like a child fighting sleep, until I am overcome with grief.

I realize that I need others kindness and understanding, insight and guidance, compassion and warmth, to help see me through.

I realize that I am not good at asking for these things.

I realize the force of old habits die hard.

I realize that eventually I will give expression to my grief and find comfort and relief.

I realize that a lot of men are like me; all hard on the outside and mush-melon on the inside.
 
@Lionheart777 , it's a shame that society has made it taboo for men to show their feelings openly, or to voice what they need. :(
"Real men are tough, they don't cry and show feelings! " Or so they say... no thank you!! I like men who show they are tender and have feelings. That's what will win my heart. That's not a mush-melon, that's a tender, caring, loving human being. :tup:;):hug:
 
I was thinking that as we as sufferers work through our symptoms it's sometimes really helpful...
To be unable to tell love apart from abuse often stems from past abuse. My father expertly brainwashed me into believing that his abuse was love. It was only downhill from there. Since it was his abuse there is no way that I could say that that was one of my shortcomings. I refuse to blame myself for the behavior and actions of predators.

Anyone that makes me uncomfortable or hurts me automatically identfies themselves as an a predator, easy as that.
 
I realized today that I'm becoming a little bit stronger and more capable of finding my voice when asking for what I need.

I also realize when I don't ask for what I need I am left feeling rejected/disappointed when others can't read my mind. Which circles around to blaming/shaming myself for even expecting others to.
 
I realize that my life, easy or difficult, short or long, is and has been a wonderful and miraculous gift for which I am truly grateful.

I realize that many have sacrificed their lives for my freedom and that I am truly blessed.

I realize that I can overcome depression and anxiety if I am persistent and not too proud to accept or ask for help when I need it.

I realize that PTSD has become more of an imposition than a disability and I am surprised that it has gotten so much better.

I realize that I have not made this journey alone and I thank and honor all the survivors and supporters who have walked this path with me.
 
I realize that the more positive I think, the More positive things go.

I realize that even though life has thrown me a lot af curve balls in the last 1 1/2 years, I have met them head on and become a better person despite them.

I realize I am a good person, who deserves love and respect!

I realize even though I am in pain all the time I still feel blessed for so many things in my life.❤️

I realize that I DO love myself, and that my be my biggest revelation of all time! :angelic:❤️❤️
 

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