I Realize That I

[Abstract]

Certain personalities who are very sure of themselves are passive aggressive and manipulative can shake my sense of reality,. Its like I have a few vulnerable spots and they hone in on one of them, Scrambled my brain. I can see the truth/reality out the corner of my eye but struggle to hold onto it .

 

[Abstract]

Ironically even though I presently am working hard and thinking hard about sleep, my sleep is fried. I am still too affected by present day stuff and it linking past stuff up. And noticing the slide of everything else that follows. Need to change this. If I worked half week it would likely be way easier.

 

[HealingInProcess]

Certain personalities who are very sure of themselves are passive aggressive and manipulative can shake my sense of reality,. Its like I have a few vulnerable spots and they hone in on one of them, Scrambled my brain. I can see the truth/reality out the corner of my eye but struggle to hold onto it .

I know exactly what you're saying here. You know it's wrong but the foundations internally are weak and you're not mounting the defense you feel you should be because of it. It's very annoying.

 

[8888]

I realize that I am doing better now than I was a few months ago.

 

[Justmehere]

I realize that I am grateful for sleep and need more of it.

 

[ChildofGod]

feel compassion for my younger self, and I feel so much better for it. I want to carry it always.

 

[HealingInProcess]

I realize that I need to accept my feelings and my weakness.

 

[Tinyflame]

I realize I don't know how I'm supposed to fix myself?
And feel like a total, unequivocal, indisputable, burden to tolerate.

 

[TruthSeeker]

I gravitate towards separation/isolation, specifically in myself/my identity.

Me too- I think I do it because I feel more in control alone... fewer variables to deal with. Recent attempts to negotiate the real world in something simple like exercise class resulted in getting hit on by the instructor on day 1 of class, and being asked to go out drinking at the local pub- yea- nope.

 

[Tinyflame]

and being asked to go out drinking at the local pub- yea- nope.

Yes, but isn't it funny- that's what they say the 'old' people do (now). (That would be me. :laugh: ). I always wonder why they don't ask the ones that want someone to ask! I had something happen funny once, the only time the approach wasn't to go out- a young guy approached me, and then said: "Are you Scott's mom?!! " (really happy). I thought: am I old enough to be a mom? :confused: Yes- maybe a young 'grandma' . :eek: I don't feel old enough to be a mom! But cool- he thought I was a ~good mom! :laugh::wideeyed::tup: And thank God he doesn't think I'm a cougar. So with all those thoughts I said, "No! :) " (and was relieved. :):laugh: )

I realize while reading this book about going over your past, I can't recall most of it, and I have no idea what they are trying to accomplish. :confused: Some days I read it I just feel- bad. :(

 

[lymphomamama]

I realize I am antisocial, isolationist, outstandingly rude, unneighborly (save one). Wouldnt spray a hose on any of the others if they stood before me in flames.

I only derive pleasure from my dogs, my goats, 1 daughter (there are 4), my husband, sister & niece and 5 of my 20+ cousins. I have a large extended family and havent seen most in 15 to 40 years. I realize I am fine with this and my critters couldnt be happier. I am ok.

 

[TruthSeeker]

Yes, but isn't it funny- that's what they say the 'old' people do (now). (That would be me. :laugh: ). I always wonder why they don't ask the ones that want someone to ask! I had something happen funny once, the only time the approach wasn't to go out- a young guy approached me, and then said: "Are you Scott's mom?!! " (really happy). I thought: am I old enough to be a mom? :confused: Yes- maybe a young 'grandma' . :eek: I don't feel old enough to be a mom! But cool- he thought I was a ~good mom! :laugh::wideeyed::tup: And thank God he doesn't think I'm a cougar. So with all those thoughts I said, "No! :) " (and was relieved. :):laugh: )

I realize while reading this book about going over your past, I can't recall most of it, and I have no idea what they are trying to accomplish. :confused: Some days I read it I just feel- bad. :(

For what it’s worth, I walked into therapy a year and a half ago and could immediately recall having been to therapy 2 times in my life and those were the two that stood out. As stress reduced and I was in a more trusting situation with the therapist, I recalled seeing 4 therapists.
Last month- the total was six- I’m now sure that’s all. While the number may seem insignificant, I’m in my 60s-way more stuff to recall- and decompartmentalize.