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You took the words out of my mouth. For me, there is a fear of going backwards so I am more conscientious of insuring I keep boundaries and step back from less than desirable incidents involving unhealthy behaviors in people I've known a while......and instead of engaging with them in a less than healthy way.....I step back, give space, and see if the other person makes amends. I figure if they don't ernestly try-they don't care, aren't ready, or worse....they don't think they should make amends; and if I had nothing to do in starting a problem-but they clearly created it, then it's on them to make amends. If they don't, my outlook on letting people go....is much better than it used to be.....with so much loss of dysfuncitonal family members-and my feeling better about it over time....totally less stress and more balanced emotions, I no longer need to hang on to them.....a real unhealthy neediness. So I've more recently begun to think that it's okay to let others go.....for my health and well-being. I want to spend my time with healthy, generally happy people, who smile and like to have some clean fun-and in doing so, I'm generally happy. This is perspective I've been working towards......and I think I'm just about there.Great, great thread, Blackbird! :)
I realize that I now have self-worth and that I have something to lose if I enter into a relationship with someone who is unstable as I am not too stable yet myself.