I Realize That I

[whiteraven]

I realize that I need to resign myself to the fact that nothing--not the physical or the emotional--will be getting better.

 

[Rose White]

American bits n bobs

Funny because “bits n bobs” is so British

 

[Rose White]

I realize that I feel “safest” when a partner shows little to no care toward me.

 

[Rose White]

I realize that being chosen, known, and valued wasn’t safe, wasn’t possible, and wasn’t something I was allowed to want. Being seen, having needs, and hoping for real care led to disappointment, neglect, and harm. I still feel like wanting those things is a risk too big to take. And that’s holding me back from something that maybe I could have, though it feels impossible.

 

[Dynamic]

Im attached to my bf. like wasnt expecting the chest drop / crying but its okay our relationship is safe I am safe

 

[parrotthepolly]

I never had a chance to live and experience the world for what it really is.

 

[Tinyflame]

I realize from the media with a hockey player that people don't realize what EDS is. I didn't originally either. But it involves also sensitivity and the autonomic nervous system- blood pressure, digestion and temperature control also, as well as things like swallowing, potential allergy to cold etc.

But I realize I've done pretty good managing it, all things considered!

 

[BuildingSelf24]

I realize that I was trying to earn my safety from people intent on harming for me and that it was a pattern cemented from a childhood of trying to avoid getting harmed by my family. I guess I thought if I was more likeable they wouldn't have harmed me or if I just pleaded my case and told the truth about events that I wouldn't be harmed.

I realize that I cannot earn or plead for safety from people who are just looking for an excuse to harm me.

 

[Tinyflame]

it popped in to my head the 2 times I felt most joy and free was carefree at the beach as a child with little or no supervision, and moments in 2 convertibles. The joy was being carefree without worry for others esp.

 

[Tinyflame]

I don't express this well, but I realize, at least at this moment in time, that I feel that though there is an emphasis on personal autonomy and a certain self preoccupation of autonomy, that I feel we are all part of a much bigger picture of which that isn't the entire plan or goal, in fact in some ways it's quite small. And that my struggles are where or what I am supposed to try to overcome, much like a chicken getting out of the egg.

And I realize the actions of one albeit crazy nurse didn't just cause harm but also somewhere likely deepened my desire deep in my bones to fight for people's choice or right to live, in their way. Or something else I haven't quite figured out yet.

 

[ms spock]

I realise that this will take as long as it takes.

 

[Teasel]

That I've changed