I Realize That I

[intothelight]

I realize that I am going to just have to accept what I have been viewing as limitations, because fighting them is pretty useless. They are my new normal.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I realize that I have been freaking out because of the move and my mobile home sale is on hold and there is nothing I can do about it.
I am just trying to go with the flow.

 

[Britt.f7]

I realize that I will have down days, but that I need to let myself be aware of the good in them. Like today, my dad texted me just because to tell me that he was thinking of me and that he loved me. I told him I love him back and that I really needed to hear that today. And thank you. Because sometimes others need to know they have made a difference in someones day.

 

[ms spock]

I realise that I am making progress. I am being brave.

 

[The Albatross]

I realize that the 800 pound gorilla in the room now is my sexual dysfunction. I did a self assessment on my diary and if there's any area to get some more progress... that is it. Ack. It's the one thing in recovery I can't actually do by my self so that's a bit of a quandary.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I realize that when I get anxiety and fear and what iffing my self to death I tend to think very negative about what could be a huge relief and an a adventure. I am getting things done.

I have been alone so long, without help besides my husband when he was in his right mind, I am not used to having people be there and help me.

But today, a very sick friend and his friend came and moved out all of the furniture out of my bedroom and it is all ready for the furniture movers to move my much nicer bedroom furniture in. I will call a refrigerator repairman to come and repair my freezer after I get rid of the furniture and the movers come in and pack me up and move me.

On Wednesday I am going out to lunch with a friend so this will be a very busy week for me.

Someone has been stealing all of my decorative animals out front. That really makes me feel glad that the house will be empty soon so no one will break in and steal anything.

 

[ms spock]

I realise that it is really hard to keep going with all the mental and physical challenges that I am facing at the moment.

 

[Britt.f7]

I realize that I have to go to my therapy appointment if I want to stand a chance of getting better. Despite not having done my homework. Couldn't think of anything to write down.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I realize that I still have childhood survival skills working against me and now that I am aware of them, I can begin to make the changes to live life more fully. More reaching out for companionship with my family.

 

[Tinyflame]

I saw a picture of a child & her dad being deployed & all I could notice was eyelashes & silent tears & 2 sad faces. I realize it was really hard to go through the 'leaving' all the time. I realize I stuffed emotions even then so each time it occurred again I never had the benefit of the feeling or 'expectation' of a return. I realize when my dad would say 'hold down the fort' or 'take care of mom (& the dog)' he never thought I'd take it literally at less than 5 or 6 years old.

I realize my dad was very patient because my sister said when he got home he would sit by me on the floor playing (I think that's so sweet- he had a most horrendous back), then eventually we'd end up on the couch, then closer, then in a couple of days I'd be sitting in his lap. (-I mean at 2, not 6 ! :wideeyed: )

I realize trying to quit smoking I can't recognize hunger because 3 meals/ day sounds so bizarre, I have no idea 'when' or 'how' or 'what' to eat, or even 'when' I'm hungry, I've mostly always eaten low volume/ huge calories once per day.

I realize when I have a bath I'm quite full of bruises.

I realize my mom must have been a saint with what I put her through.

I realize I don't know entirely what I am to blame for & what not exactly.

I realize things are hard to talk about when they have emotions attached or are heavy-laden. So it's either the weather-report-delivery when forced (but then comes coughing, etc), or it's seemed naturally 'best' to not talk about them.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I realize that I am a very hard worker and I get things done as fast as I can.

 

[ms spock]

I realise that I have to redirect all this panic and anxiety in to other activities.