I'm Losing It Again Today...

[J_trustno1]

I thought I wouldn't be as upset or feel crap like all the job rejections but I actually am feeling crap and shit. Although I don't expect anything from the interview but I feel that I have failed myself. I feel that I am wearing a halo of bad luck on my head. I have worked really hard all my life (I'm proud that I am a hardworker) but I didn't get any end results. I have worked at restaurants, supermarkets and retail for 13+ yrs of my (I don't degrade those jobs but I don't want that again! Especially the kind of torture that came with all that kind work: domestic violence, emotional, verbal abuse and neglect).

I don't want a job at a restaurant or at supermarkets or retail. I've had enough of that. I have been applying for every admin job out there, even different type of customer services, Data analyst jobs, statistics related jobs, tutoring jobs, chemistry related jobs, Personal secretary jobs and GOD knows what else. But all I had was rejections. I'm now starting to believe that I am really not good enough. I am a waste of time and space.

I have tried so many different approaches for job applications, i.e. through word of mouth, cold calling, online, recruitment agencies, newspapers, and personally been to recruitment agencies. BUT nothing happened. I've applied for jobs nation wide but still rejected. Now I am starting to feel that there must be something lacking in me that is why I am stuck here for a year despite applying for over 200 job applications.

I have been to different people for my CV and cover letter check: i.e. university, even my psychologist, work and income, workwise group, friends (online and real life). I'm now thinking that I don't really deserve to be on this planet because I have no bloody purpose here. No one is willing to hire me despite my past experience, my hardwork and for god sakes the work I have put in at university. It feels that I have wasted all this time at uni just to be this jobless hobo who no one wants. YES! who will hire me when I am actually a rejected person from the day I was born, I was never wanted by my father and it proves that I am not wanted in the job world!

I'm in shit today!

 

[theotherside]

Sorry to hear..i hope you find something soon. Hang in there

 

[Tanishq]

I have no bloody purpose here.

You have one purpose, it is just you don't know at the moment.

 

[ms spock]

This is the nature of job applications these days. Despite all the ways in which governments fiddle the figures unemployment is high. I know a whole bunch of people that have had exactly the same experience that you have had. Some of them have personalised it too.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

I'm sorry you are feeling like this. :hug:

I know the familiar, disempowering feeling of having some kind of gravitational field around you that attracts bad luck.
You remind me a little bit of some people in this group called Humans of New York. Well it isn't so much a group as one person who goes around New York interviewing random people. Some times there is people there who feel hopeless.

Just the other day there was a woman, an older woman, frustrated because she couldn't get a job and she had sent out a ton of applications. Everybody in the comments was cheering her on and hoping that she would get one. There was also a little dude from a ghetto kind of housing project in Brooklyn. In a matter of weeks, the man behind Humans of New York managed to raise thousands for his school so they could get a summer programme.

From one week to the other he suddenly found himself (the kid) having a chat with Obama.

My point is that you never really know. Luck can change from one second to the next. The luck of the kid changed in one moment, where he was interviewed. I also recommend that you check out the stories on this site. They are extremely encouraging.

 

[shimmerz]

Some of them have personalised it too.

Be really careful of this @J_trustno1 . @Ms Spock is right. So many people are finding it impossible out there. We with PTSD, I think, tend to believe it is all about our 'unworthiness' or whatever word you want to plug in there. I don't think it is. It is very very difficult to get any type of 'thinking' job out there these days. Try to catch yourself if you can when you internalize this thinking. I am cheering for you!!!! :hug::hug::hug:

 

[reallydown]

I've had a rough time with the job search and in the end, I'm stuck in a menial job but at the moment I am grateful for that too because it is really tough for everyone. Hang in there.