Sufferer Im New To This

[vmshields]

I was diagnosed with ptsd about 2 years ago after my tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. I have been trying to hide behind my tough guy Marine emotions but truth be told this is just a lack of emotion or at least being able to express them. I have been good at stuffing my issues my whole life. I have been to some low points in my life. I have lost 6 friends to suicide I have contempalted it my self. Im still contemplating it. I dont believe its a cry for attention cause I dont really need any. I just want it all to stop. I have recently gotten out of the marines and my life has been hell since. I am good at playing happy but in reality im in hell. sorry this was susposed to be an intro but I have a lot on my chest and once it starts coming out it feels good to release it.

 

[keifer]

Have you considered getting help from the VA or a vet center?

 

[StrongHeart]

Welcome, vm! You've made a big first step - coming to this forum. What you have said is similar to what other combat vets have said, with the numbness. There's also another forum that you might like, a combat vets forum that is linked in this site, that is for combat vets only. But please keep posting here, get all of that stuff out that you've been holding back. You are among friends.

 

[franciemarnie]

Welcome! You are not alone.

 

[EverOnly358]

If it's something you don't mind hearing... I wanted to say thank you for your service. I am sorry you're feeling so low. It's a terrible place to be. You'll find many people with PTSD though, who also try to put up a brave front and have trouble connecting with their emotions. You're not alone. And it does really help to get these things off your chest, so keep talking.

Welcome!
D123

 

[SuperAnxietyGirl]

Welcome, I understand with the suicide and getting things off your chest. I was raised never speaking of my trauma, so once I finally could, I started to just sort of spill it out to whoever I could tell. And with suicide, I agree that it isn't a cry for attention. I feel the same way a lot. When I moved, it got better but then came back which broke my heart. You just want to go away... make your problems go away permanently. I just have to remind myself that it's not the case. What we suffer with today could be gone tomorrow.

Welcome to the forum!

 

[C689]

Not alone. It does help to talk about it and many times I have not wanted to share myself. But find it is a release to get it out.

 

[bell]

Welcome @vmshields! There is a sister site to this one just for veterans, which may also be of help: Link Removed.

And please know that everything you wrote rings true to me, as I'm sure it does to others. Talking about it (to others and/or to therapy) denotes strength, not weakness... I'm glad that you see how it feels good to "release" all those feelings, that's an awesome step! Go you!

 

[Tinyflame]

Hi vmshields welcome. :)

 

[vmshields]

Thanks for all the support.

 

[intothelight]

Welcome to MyPTSD forum!

 

[Abstract]

tough guy Marine emotions

Please feel free to kick this to the curb if you can. It is Ok to discuss how you feel and to be hurt here. The playing-happy is a curse I find. Nothing wrong with getting appropriate attention either.

Welcome.